Relationship Post #2: Start to Finish

DISCLAIMER: Let me say this off the top. There’s a lot of discussion about relationships in blogsphere right now so I’m putting out this disclaimer. By no means, is this post dedicated to anyone that’s writing about their love life right now. Love is love. You do you. BUT on the flip side, if you continue to read it and it offends you, then maybe you should look a little deeper in that mirror of yours. Cool?

It’s been a while since I’ve given relationship advice (on the blog that is).  I drop my two cents when asked by anyone, via chat, email, in person whatever, but actually typing it? I’ve refrained for a while. Not sure why. I just have.

But as a man who writes a blog and has no hidden agenda of trying to be a blog pimp, I think I need to drop some gems and knowledge from my point of view ( which is a boo’ed up man that’s immune to chickenheads, b.ird flu, salmonella and the like) every now and then.

So the other day I told you he’s not leaving the woman he’s with for you. My topic for today is………..

.Ladies, it’s not about the start, it’s about the finish.

A man will go hard (literally and figuratively) when he first meets you. He will say the right things. He will do the right things. He will be the ultimate. Everything is fresh. Everything is new. He’s trying to get in your pants (at least majority will) and you might be trying to drop yours. But by no means, should you think that all of this is an indication of how things will be for the rest of your lives or relationship. Sorry to break the news to you but that’s just the way it is.

Some people do maintain but those are far and few between. Others fall off. Some that fall off manage to recover. Some just keep falling.

So when you get mad because this is month 3 and he no longer buys you flowers or calls everyday, I have to ask “what are your intentions?” and “what are you expectations” and more importantly, did you share the answer to these questions with him?  If you haven’t talked seriously, if you haven’t taken the time to understand where his head (both of them) is at, then really, your anger is un called for. Period.

You have to realize that in the beginning, this is a game. And when we (men) feel like we’ve won, there’s nothing else for us to do. So we get complacent and you accept our complacency and that is a combination for disaster.  A man is not going to give you 100% all of the time.  A woman is not going to give a 100% all of the time either. Let’s be real.  Some days you get 60%. Some days 98%.   Relationships are push and pull. Sometimes you want to push. Sometimes you just want to sit back be pulled.  Those who understand and know how to play the game – win.  Others lose and walk off the court without shaking hands and act like big cry babies.

It’s not about the start. Anybody can start. Game is built on start because we have to figure out a way to approach you and get you interested and get your number. That’s the start.  But if you only see him at night and only have his cell phone number and he comes over and can’t spend the night and has to leave? You’re not in the game. Not in the race. You’re stuck at the start.

No one remembers how the runner started the marathon. Only what place they finished.

No one remembers how many points Kobe scored the first game of the season. Only that he was on that stage at the end holding up the trophy.

If you’re his trophy…if you’re his prize….if you’re the one that he’s playing for… have to act like you deserve it (not from him, from G0d)  and you have to recognize that it’s not going to be easy but he’s willing to go the extra mile and put forth the effort and you’re ready to receive it, well then, the finish is all good.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on July 9, 2009.

8 Responses to “Relationship Post #2: Start to Finish”

  1. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

    You know that reminds me of something Chief said to me once when we became official. “I saw in you what I didn’t see in other chicks after Anya (his ex-gf) you were the only one that wouldn’t accept being second to anyone or being some play thing on the demanded all or nothing”

    Some women need to realize that they are MORE than just a booty call or play thing and demoand (command) respect. I believe first that it comes from loving and valuing oneself and as you mentioned–the Big Man upstairs

    that’s all i have to say about that!

  2. Wooooooooo you brought it on this post. This is so very true and something that men and women alike need to take heed to.

  3. This is why you’re hot. LOL

    Seriously, a man will only treat you the way you allow him to. If you demand the best and demand excellence….a worthy man will rise to the occassion.

  4. You. go. hard. in. the. paint.

  5. “If you’re his trophy…if you’re his prize….if you’re the one that he’s playing for… have to act like you deserve it (not from him, from G0d)” – Love this!

    I am the prize.

  6. You’re really good at this stuff. You are on point with this.

  7. “. . if you haven’t taken the time to understand where his head (both of them) is at . .” Preach brotha Fresh, preach!!!

  8. What a return to reading your post!

    I completely agree. I have been madly in love with Doc Loc for a couple of years. We have been talking about marriage to each other, having kids, where to live, how to keep our sex life up. You are right, make is my priority to keep things new and fresh. Thank God, I found a man that is expressive, open, and brutally honest with me. This time, I am not assuming what he is thinking about in his future. I ask him and he lets me know and I do the same with him.

    While I love the lust between him and I, now, its more than him mashing me out. We work on our partnership together. Simply a Blessing.


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