V-Day Fiends

I was sitting here typing my usual wise crack Valentine entry when like 2 minutes ago, I received an email from a former co-worker of mine. Being that I hadn’t communicated with this person in a while, I stopped typing my entry and went to read the email. Nevertheless, the whole tone of what I wanted to say has completely changed. My former co-worker told me that another co-worker of mine passed away unexpectedly last week from cancer. She was only in her early 40’s. And literally 2 seconds ago my cell phone rang with a friend telling me that they’ve just been laid off. Damn.  I mean just Damn.

As much as I want to write a serious post about real love, too many people seem to be having a rough day, so I’m going to be my wise crack self and make fun of you self centered materialistic driven v-day fiends…..

V-Day Random Thoughts……

#1 – The shit ain’t about you. AT ALL. “I wonder what HE is going to get me”….”I wonder where HE is going to take me”……If you’re really in a true relationship, you should be concerned about what you’re going to get HIM.  Give first people. Selfish bastids.

#2 – I’m still convinced that a neglected housewife of a Hall.mark executive created V-day.

#3 – Who writes these damn cards anyway?  “Baby you know my love for you is everlasting and there’s no mountain we can’t climb together to touch the clouds and be in heaven

WHAT?!!??!?!? BOOOOOOOOOOOO?!?!!?!

I want a THUG V-Day card. Get to the point. “B*tch you know I love yo’ ass right?”

I want a SEXY V-Day card. “Baby, the way your booty jiggles when I’m hitting it…I know I’m in love

Or you know how now they have those musical cards…you open it and a song plays…..let me get one where she open it and The Dre.am come on singing “grind it..grind it…grind it…do it…..” Yeah that’ll work…

I’m contacting Hall.mark right now….they got M.ah.ogan.y…they need Fresherisms….

#4 – You ever go to the card store to buy cards for a holiday? Women are in the aisle reading damn near every card. Men? We scan. We find. We skim. We buy. No need to read the whole card. It’s like “yeah this good right here” and that’s it. We roll.

#5 -Friday the 13th, then V-Day….I don’t know man. I’m just saying. Be careful. Fellas, don’t let her cook for you. Go out to dinner! (you’ve been warned)

#6 –  If I don’t like the day (I’m not even calling it a holiday), but I still celebrate it for YOU, the least you can do is wear this skimpy ass g-string I bought from Fredericks. I spent all this money on flowers and dinner. That’s the least you can do. Because you know….. 

#7 – To men, V-Day = Se.x.  Guaranteed S. E. X. So warn us ahead of time if you punctuation mark is going to be in town……It’s only right.

#8 – If this day comes around and all of a sudden your mate/partner/se.x friend/boo-boo/snuggums is dropping the L word all over you but has never said it before, you should raise an eyebrow……

#9 – Seriously though, I’m not anti-the-day. I’m not totally for it but I’m not totally against it either. What bugs me the most is when people, women walk around sobbing and boo hoo-ing because they didn’t get a teddy bear (or flowers or whatever). The day, albeit commercialized to the core, should be about love, in general, not just love to your mate. Love your kids. Your parents. Friends. Your fellow blogger named Funky Fresh. You name it. If you’re single, go out with your girls and paint the town and appreciate their friendship.

#10 – Look in the mirror. Do you love yourself?

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have a thing planned  (yet). I’m last minute with it but I damn sure won’t be in the card store tonight cause I got my cards earlier. Last year I damn near had to make my own cards with the kid’s construction paper because I was so late with it!

Have fun. Be safe. Love yourself. Love Life and most importantly….

Get some.

Love y’all.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on February 13, 2009.

7 Responses to “V-Day Fiends”

  1. Forget Hallmark, you need to put out your own line of cards called Fresherisms

  2. LMAO @ Fresh.. #5… speak it hahahaaaaa

  3. My husband is probably out there scrambling right now….LOL.

    Happy V-Day to you and all the blogfam.

  4. Random thoughts like #3 are the reason why I “love” this blog. LOL

  5. @Y – I need to get a hold of them….Fo’ real

    @BK – you an island gal. you know about #5 huh?!?!? LMAO

    @Sixty – Me and your hubby probably ran into each other at lunch!!!!! Sup man, what you gettin? I’on know. WHat you gettin?!?!

    @KLJ – and the blog “loves” you too. LOL!!!

  6. Awwww while full of ‘freshisms’ this was a sweet post! (I know I’m mad late!)

  7. LMAO @ #3!!!

    @#9 I completely agree…my mom would always get us valentine’s day gifts and cards and my father even bought me a ruby ring for one V-day.

    But V-Day kills me sometimes…too much is going on with it. Too much pressure…just spend time with loved ones and call it a day!

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