Things You Just Might See

You know what I spent my Friday night doing? Yup, you guessed it. I was at a company Christmas party. (Joy to da mudda-bleepin’ world)

In my typical observation mode, I noticed a couple of things and maybe, just maybe, this happens at your company soiree to.

#1 – That person you thought was a quiet workaholic WILL loosen up once the alcohol takes effect and you will see a whole different side of them.

#2 – There will be some type of ghetto hoochie mama (either it will be someone you work with or their sister) in attendance wearing scantily clad clothing, enjoying the free booze and embarrassing the hell out of your race by doing something like smothering your CEO in their DDD’s.

#3 – There will be a hookup that you’ll find out about on Monday morning or at some point in the upcoming weeks especially if your party is held in a hotel. You know for damn sure someone booked a room in advance and was straight mackin’ during the night. Hell I would. Room 112 where the playas dwell.

#4 – You will look at somebody’s date real funny with the side eye . Either they are trying to hard to be liked, or they’re wearing some off the wall outfit or you’ll be thinking to yourself “I had no idea his girlfriend was ___________” (you fill in the blank)

#5 – There will be some undercover co-worker beef. Here’s why. Male co-worker is actively flirting with, maybe even sexing, female co-worker. Male co-worker shows up to the party with his “main” chick. Female co-worker didn’t know “she” was coming. Enter beef. Enter side-eye. No worries though. Male and female co-worker will re-kindle during work hours.

#6 – There will be a non-black co-worker on the dance floor showing and proving that he/she has rhythm and maybe even singing the lyrics.

#7 – But there will also be tons of co-workers on the dance floor who are just feeling it but look completely ridiculous. It’s pure comedy. You should go for this reason alone.

#8 -There will be someone there who just has a blank face and just does not want to be there.

#9 – There will be comments about outfits, dresses, body parts, you name it.

#10 – There’s a good chance that you’re going to hear and do the Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, Cupid Shuffle , you name it. Hell I might come up with my own damn dance called “The Fresh”……

It was different. Something I hadn’t experienced before like when this one song came on, and I have no idea what it is, all the gay people danced together. There was not one hetero on the dance floor. Hey, it’s all good. That would NEVER happen at my stuffy job but still I had a good time especially when the DJ played this song right here…..

I like big butts and I can not lie…….

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on December 15, 2008.

8 Responses to “Things You Just Might See”

  1. My [department] is having their annual Christmas party [I mean errr Potluck] on Thursday…

    Wish I could say I was lookin’ forward to seein’ all that and then some BUT I’m sure ours won’t be half as interesting considering it’s held right here @ the office [in the conference room down the hall], It’s held during the hours of 1 and 4 p.m. AND, they actually expect folks whose hours [like mines] extend beyond that point to continue working afterwards.

    *SIGH* Some folks have alllllllll the luck!

  2. #1-8 have happened at EVERY office Christmas party I have had the ‘pleasure’ (ahem) of attending..LOL

  3. Never been to an office Christmas party where alcohol is involved. Usually, that’s banned after the first car crash, office hook up and/or accidental pregnancy. Glad you had fun.
    ’till next time…

  4. You know my party is this Friday. *sigh* Expect a full re-cap on Monday.

  5. MAN!!! Our parties are NOTHING like that. I feel jipped. LOL

  6. For a minute I thought we were at the same party Fri nite. I was a semi-scantilly clad female schmoozing with the CEO, but I definitely don’t have DDDs and didn’t embarass nobody. ;0)

  7. I usually go to the office Christmas party to see my usually “white” co-worker get FUCKED UP and suddenly embrace her Hispanic roots, get up in every nucka’s face that can take her blazing Vodk-ic breath by now, and rub that onion all up on him. Then she usually loses her purse, tell me she loves me and admires me, throws up, stumbles out. Ironically, none of us ever go after her. That drunk ho always shows up to work the next day. Love her though! LMAO

  8. Well, usually I get to witness similar events at our holiday party but it’s a recession so no drunk co-workers, no stories of having “relations” in the car…nothing…we get brunch this year…boooo

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