We interrupt this program to bring you a Funky Fresh Public Service Announcement.

Ladies – I know this is Christmas time and this is a time for giving but please, if you’ve only known dude for a couple of weeks and you’ve never been to his house and you only have his work number and you communicate via text messages after 7pm, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, break your pockets and get dude some expensive ass gift. Really if all of the above is true, he shouldn’t get shit but I know he’s got potential yeah yeah. I know he hits your spot something serious and gives you chills and when you get the big O, you sound  and dance like the hook on this song (go to 1:22 if you don’t want to watch the whole thing):

(do you know what the Fresh remix to that would be- that’s another post??!?!?!)

 Anyway, ladies if got A.r.ab M.oney, then shit, splurge. Other than that, if do you give a gift, keep it small, simple and less expensive. Don’t break your pockets buying Pl.aystations and fighting people for Wi.is and shit. Once you get the title, once it’s “official”, then you buy.

Fellas – if she’s a jumpoff, then damnit she’s a jumpoff. The only thing you need to give her is the d*ck. That’s it. That’s her stocking stuffer. A couple of extense, vigorous sessions over the holiday. Wear your Santa hat. Go buy some Christmas condoms. Role play. Make the shit festive. Don’t go buying shit for your jumpoff. P*ssy got you all whipped and you’re in Bloomingdales looking for Sevens and Joe Jeans trying to figure out what the hell a size 27 and 28 really is looking for women in the store with a shape similar to your jumpoff then looking at Kate Spade, Dooney and Burke and some foreign name purses you can’t even pronounce right. Don’t do it. Keep It Simple Stupid.

This has been a Funky Fresh Public Service Announcement. Any views expressed are strictly those of Always Funky Fresh and do not necessarily reflect those views of the readers. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on December 9, 2008.

14 Responses to “FF PSA”

  1. DEAD.. absolutely DEAD… and them gifts only come with marriage LMAO WTFudge..

  2. Wear a Santa hat? Make it festive?

    Leaving this blog to go pray for my friend…..

  3. C’mon. You never wore a Santa hat? Never played Santa’s helper?!?!?!

  4. But fresh… what if you notice her start investigating for what to get you? How do you stop her?

  5. i like that santa hat idea, will use that one just because. reminds me of my cat ears at halloween. gifts are also a touchy subject. my friend told me not to get him anything. i don’t know if its out of sincerity or if he is just being cheap. but i’m a good listener, he’ll get what he asked for! lol

  6. HF: Tell her not to get you anything. Say “oh you don’t have to get me anything, you are all I need.” Don’t know your situation cuase the last part may even be a lie. But it may help. I say it.

  7. Let the church say AMEN! We in a recession, I hope folks ain’t out tricking like that in these times…

  8. I really wanna fight you over this…lol..all I want is a d@#k in a box…

  9. That’s my song! And yeah…Christmas is cancelled this year.

  10. Ok that was too funny!!! lol

  11. Hilarious…however you do speak the truth!! lol

  12. BAWAHAHAAAAA….this is sooooo funny and yet I’m sooo mad at you!! ROFL

  13. Imma neeeed a word with you to the side! lol

  14. Let this post (and many other sentiments I’ve heard over the years) be the reason that I don’t celebrate Christmas, or exchange gifts. Oh yeah, I tried it a few times, because I got tired of the dirty looks from Dad. But it’s not me. You don’t have to give me nothing, and I in turn will you give you not a damn thing. WORKS! 😆

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