Random | modnaR 2

We’ll resume back to “normal” posting after the holidays. For now, I’m still random with it.

– Let’s say I’m out a happy hour or something in your neck of the woods. I know what you look like because you have posted pictures on your blog. I, on the other hand, am a complete picture mystery to you.  Can I approach you out of the blue or would you look at me funny and use your *ahem* pepper spray? Can I run up on you and be like “Yo Blog.ger, it’s me, Fresh, you know, alwaysfunkyfresh [dot] wordpress [dot] com, the remixer, you’re psychooo-oo-ooo-ooo” guy? How crazy would that be? Yeah. Unless we agree to meet up, that won’t be me.

– Who in the h.e. double hockey sticks is going to be at K.ohls at 4am for the Christ.mas sale? At 4am, it’ll be me and Ni.a L.ong doing a little post turkey st.uffing (I’m dreaming but let me live…geesh)

– Speaking of shopping, tomorrow is officially the last day I step foot in a shopping mall until the end of the year. Can’t deal with the crazies.

– Going to the dentist sucks…….[insert whatever animals testicles here]. So this morning I got the last of a procedure done and he novacained me up.  Now I’m walking around with a numb jaw and tongue. Every time I talk, I feel like the fat lip dude from F.at Al.bert “eyeduhbeda hungry” and I keep licking my lips like I got a L.L complex because I don’t want them shits to be Ma.lik Yob.a-ish. Feel me?

– I have a presentation to give in a couple of hours. Ask me if I’ve even started my slides. I procrastinate with the best of them, I tell ya. Plus I’m not sure Mr. Novacaine is going bye bye by that time.

– My co-worker, who is co-presenting, sent me her slides. Why are the words in a 40 point font size?!? Who are you fooling with that? This isn’t high school when you would double space your report to make it seem longer!!! This is power.point!!!!!!!

– How come people send you an email and say “hit me back ASAP”, when they can pick up the phone and call you?

– Friday is an “optional” day at work. What do you think I’m “opting” to do? Judge shows all day!!!! N*gguh what?!?!?!

– I just came back from the mall with some co-workers. Damnit, it’s 2 days before giving Thanks. I don’t feel like working so we took an “extended” lunch to Pen.ta.gon C.ity.  Wanna know some of my mall observations…here it go.

#1 – Blackened does not equal burnt. Man, the cajun grill spot gave me some extra crispy blackened chicken. That’s what I get for trying something other than the bourbon joint.

#2 – Do those Asian people EVER run out of toothpicks?!? Always giving people samples….

#3 – There were quite a number of same se.x male “friends” going shopping. Everybody has a right to shop with who they want, when they want. It’s just an observation and a different perspective when you hear one dude say “oooh that orange looks good on you” to another dude.

#4 – Al.do has some straight FMPs in their lineup.

#5 – Know your limits. It’s okay if you’re a big girl. More cushion for the pushin’ but you should not be in For.ever 21. You need to be in like For.ever 42.  I’m sayin…

#6 – If I pass your little stand and say no, I don’t want no damn incense the first time, what makes you think I’m going to pass the second time and say yes.

#7 – Why is the A.pple store ALWAYS crowded?

#8 – The mannequins in B.e.b.e got a little booty. Mannequins used to be straight up flat butt/handsize boobs. Now they got booty. Everyone obsessed with getting a butt. (Can’t say I blame them) I wanna see a mannequin with a black booty on some B.uff.ie/An.gel Lo.la Luv point-out-and-poke-the-person-next-to-you-sh*t.

#9 – No, I refuse to try any cologne with that name. It was called  Sexual. I’m serious. Look it up. But she pronounced it Sex-choo-allllllll. It sounded like she was saying sex-you-all which I would if she was like 20 years younger.

#10 – This is the only mall in the area that I know of where you have to pay for parking. Now it’s automated too. They gonna put the E.th.io.pians out of jobs. (that was foul). I’m sayin….

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 25, 2008.

11 Responses to “Random | modnaR 2”

  1. lmao @ post turkey stuffing with Nia…only you could come up with that one.

    The mannequins in Jersey City make you want to cover your kids eyes…from the body type, to their come eff me poses…it’s weird!

    That cologne sounds weird too.

    Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

  2. How come people send you an email and say “hit me back ASAP”, when they can pick up the phone and call you?

    Uh…what’s the problem with this ^? You trying to tell me something? LOL

    Yes,mannequins in Philly have booty. Like sista girl booty.

    Enjoy the Holiday!

  3. aaah
    randomness is always appreciated

  4. Dude, if you see me at Happy Hour you better speak!

    Merry Turkey Day!

  5. This post was too funny. Gotta love the randomness. That cologne has me raising eyebrows.

  6. LOL! As soon as I pass the incense stand, I hear without fail “Excuse me my nubian sista…”. I can’t take it!

    Love the randomness in this post. Happy Turkey Day!

  7. BAWAHAHAHAAAAAA @ and I keep licking my lips like I got a L.L complex because I don’t want them shits to be Ma.lik Yob.a-ish. Feel me? I happen to still LIKE Malike Yoba! lol

    For # 2 & 10 I’m signing you for diversity training!

  8. always a good laugh when you get all random. Have a great holiday!

  9. @Opinionated – The mannequins in Jersey City like that? Dammmmnnn….

    @Sixty – Not you homie. I’m talking ’bout co-workers…..

    @Dej – Dej what up!!!!!

    @Babs – Ok, I’ll speak but I’m saying, that wouldn’t be weird though?

    @Bored – Sex-choo-allll…I can’t get that out of my head

    @La Bella – All stands annoy me….Nubian sista…HAAAAAAAHAAAAA

    @Kellz – Do I really need diversity training? You know I’m right though….

    @Reign – LOL. What u tryna say? I’m not funny when I’m not random?!?!?!? Just kidding. Enjoy your holiday.

  10. Forever 42?!?! You are so wrong. Yet so funny . . . thanks for the laughs – I needed them!

  11. LOL. I’m mad late. I would never *ahem* spray you. As long as you keep a safe distance…

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