#1 -So I’m going to lunch and get to the door. You PULL the door to get in. You PUSH the door to get out. The signs on the door tell you so. Every now and then you zone out and PUSH when you should PULL and vice versa. Everyone’s done it. Today, as I get to the door, I’m about to push.  A guy and his lady friend is about to come in. As I begin to PUSH the door open, this dumb ass muscle neck bow legged L.ou looking mofo ALSO pushes. WTF?!?!? So I stand back and look at him with my “are you f*cking stupid??!” look. He looks back at me with a “Move before I beat your ass” look to which I respond with a “are you really f*cking stupid” look. I glance at his lady friend. She’s looking at him crazy.  WTF?!?!

Isn’t it a common rule?  Let people out before you get in. Right? Elevator. Let them out before you get in. Door.  Let them out before you get in. Finally he moves, I PUSH and walk out. I hold the door for his lady friend and let that shit go right when he approached the doorway. He mumbled some sh*t. I didn’t even hear it. He might have been able to bench press me with his pinky toe but I will outsmart a mofo quick fast and a hurry.

#2 -I really have no sympathy for you if you get a ticket for parking where it says “NO PARKING FIRE LANE“. I don’t care if your ass is lazy and just wanted to run into the cleaners. Nope. I don’t even care if you tried to persuade the rent-a-cop to give you a break. Nope.  You’re lucky I held your place in line. But when you come back to me and say “can you believe that they gave me a ticket?”, don’t be surprised if I say NOPE.

#3 -So far this blog is reminding me of something…… R. I. F

#4 -Why does the lady in the chinese spot scream out my order at the top of her lungs even though I’m the only one in there?!? “#8 CHIKEN BROCCOLI!!!!!!!!!!” Miss I’m right there. “SIX DOLLA FITTY CENT!!!!”

#5 -Why is elevator silence so damn awkward? It could just be you and one other person. It’s the weirdest feeling.

#6 -Do you think President-Elect will now bring intelligent black men back in style?  For a while, (a long while), some of you ladies were only checking for the thiz-ugs. Now?! Hmmmm……

#7 -Saturday evening. Complete boredom takes over. Decide to meet some peoples at a brewery. I’m not a big beer drinker but whatever. Me, my peeps, brewskis, wings (the makings of a visit to the toilet later).  Anyway, it’s about 9/10pm, dark outside right? Pretty dark inside. In walks this dude with these dark pair of shades. 10pm. Shades on. Inside a dimly lit public place. Shades on. Idiot.

#8 -This place is really trying to shut me down with this blogging. They suck.

#9 -You know when you give in your resignation letter and it’s your last two weeks on the job and you gotta train your replacement and you do that sh*t half-ass because you really could care less what happens after you leave you just glad you’re out that joint and for all you care, the next person will hold that bag of sh*t but you try and act sympathetic about the whole situation. Does this sound familiar? Does this sound like anything that COULD be happening in the world today?

#10 -So let me get this straight? Politicians can pee on people now?!?! Robert you done started a trend!!!!

#11 -Let me help you out.  In Word.press, go to Dashboard->Design->Extras and uncheck the box for that annoying ass Sna.p Sh.ot feature!!!

#12 -How do you give people off on Vetera.n’s Day and not ML.K Day?

#13 – Please don’t act stupid because he’s going to be in the Wh.ite Ho.use. And don’t use that “because my President is Black” line because if you decide to miss work just cause, you’ll be saying “My check is blank”

#14 -A great prophet  called Bi.z Mar.kie once said “Damn it feels good to see people up on it”. He wasn’t lying.

#15 -The lady in the office next to me has the loudest, most annoying laugh I’ve heard in years.

#16 -When you’re focused and you have written goals and you really really know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, you become a force that most people won’t understand but they will sit and talk about you under their breath. Hi Haters. *waving*

#17 – Thank You Mr. Tip for giving me real music.



~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 12, 2008.

9 Responses to “Random-ish”

  1. There was a lady @ the Chinese spot in Greenbelt that used to do that. She startled me everytime she did it. DAM why are you that loud and it’s just you, I and the cooks! LMAO.

    Yea Elevator silence is super eerie. I hate being in elevators w/ folks I don’t know.

    President-Elect Obama is the epitome of intelligent, sexy black man.

    Funny you just described my current plantation situaton, I could give 2 flucks if my replacement ‘gets it or not’. I try to tell her how happy she’ll be in my position when really I’m lmao inside.

    Your whole last paragraph…I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!! HI HATER HI HATER…YOU SEE ME!

  2. Number 11…THANKS!

    QTips cd is the shyt

  3. where have you been??? definitely brought the laughter back, my son is looking at me like i’m crazy i’m laughing so hard!

    i pray that Obama brings intelligent black men back

    i haven’t coped Qtips album yet… heard nothing but great things

    i’m right with you on the haters… chunk them the deuce everyday!

  4. Going to my dashboard right now.

  5. #1 You tryna catch a beatdown, huh? LOL.

    #3 Reading is Fundamental? Indeed it is. So is spell check.

    #4 The Mexicans do the same thing at my mexican lunch spot. They kill me with that. LOL.

    #5 The elevator is the most awkward place on earth. I hate it.

    #7 Number one pet peeve. Stone cold bammas.

  6. 1. Thanks for naming your post after me…(wink)

    2. Speaking of Asians and inappropriate shouting, I hate it when I go get my eybrows waxed at the nail salon and the Asian chick always, in her loudest shriek, asks, “You wan me wax yaw unibrow, gulfrenn?”

    3. Seems like nowadays more people are taking golden showers than are taking fresh water showers…

    4. What’s the point of giving 2 wks? I’m just go’n come in to the office and sit online all day, take 2 hr lunches and steal office supplies anyway…(“I’m gonna need this stapler for my new job…”)

    5. “WTF, we got a Black president” is my new excuse for everything: Telling my boss what I AIN’T finna do on this project – “WTF, we got a Black president”; Laughing at my neighbor every time I see him drive up in his white pickup w/the McCain AND Huckabee bumper stickers – “WTF, we got a Black president”; Eating 2 desserts after dinner – “WTF, we got a Black president”

    ’till next time…


  7. Intelligent men are DEFINITELY back in style…lol

  8. that is too funny. i swear the chinese must have a manual sayin that they must announce ur order thru a loudspeaker when ready. and #7 me and one of my girlfriends used to question that too. like people must have cataracts or something to be walkin around wit shades in the dark

  9. yes QTIP is very very hot..

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