Random | modnaR

How dumb can you be to carve a “B” in your cheek backwards? She could have at least picked the “O”.  Anyway, like I told someone earlier, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Don’t you hate when people make a word plural when it should be singular? Like we used to have this club out here called Dream (It’s now Love) but damnit, people would always say they’re going to Dreams. That crap would irritate the hell out of me.

You can pretty much blame growin’ up in NYC for my nonchalant attitude towards Halloween. I was too busy trying to protect my ass than getting in a costume. Eggs flying all over the damn place. Powdered socks. Crews ready to jump your ass. Nah son. No costume. I rock the oldest clothes in my closet.

Speaking of which, unless your job explicitly states they’re having a Halloween party on Friday, leave the costume at home until you actually go to a party. Last year I sat in a meeting with a client and my colleague who thought it was funny to be B.art fuggin’ S.impson. All I’ll say is the client didn’t think it was too funny….

Please tell me acid wash jeans aren’t coming back in style….

No man should be in skinny jeans. Sorry.

Save the pity party. If you want to walk around saying your life sucks and you’re a loser and you’ll never find a man/woman and be lonely you’re whole life, go right ahead. As a matter of fact, let me help you. Your life does suck. You are a loser and yes, you will never EVER find a man ===as long as you have that attitude.

It’s spelled “definitely”, not “definately”. Sound it out. Def-in-ite-ly. There’s no “nate”, no long or short “a”.

Who made Africans the authority on hair-braiding?  Who made Dominicans the authority on quick and cheap wash n sets or whatever the hell they do? Who made Asians the manicure/pedicure specialists?

And ladies, while you’re explaining the above to me, explain this one to…..

Open toe boots? I’m not quite sure I understand the magnitude of what’s going on. I mean what is it? A boot? Then why are the toes showing? When do you wear them? Can’t wear’em in the cold…your toes will freeze. Can’t wear them in the summer. Your feet will stink. Are they for freak’um occassions?!?!

My doctor refused to let me make an appointment because I have a balance on my account for $2. Yup, $2. Unpaid since February. So I ask the gh-etto receptionist, how come they never sent me a notice? Her words. I don’t know.  I sent them a check last week for $2.05. I called today and asked for a refund of a nickel. I need to ask for that crap in pennies.

This guy endorsed O.bama.

And this guy endorses Mc.Same

You tell me which one holds more weight? Retired Ge.neral or Reggaet.on Artist?!?! Gas.o.lina b*tches.

So let me get this straight. Her dude pissed her off so she goes and bust up his car windows. I see the purpose but I think it’s dumb…….

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Here’s why.

If you’re going to get a dude back, busting his car windows ain’t gonna do shiggedy. He’ll call s.afelite and have his shit replaced the next day. You gotta do some real shiggedy. Check the Fresh remix:

I f*cked your cousin in your car,
And we didn’t even have to go that far
We licked and sucked and when it was time to skeet
We bust our nuts all over your front seat

NOW THAT IS SOME MUDDA FUGGIN’ REVENGE…..you tell me one dude that won’t be shook after that.

*Side note* How come she didn’t bust any windows in the video?!?!?!

B WITHOUT DEM……

I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. I have no idea what the hell this song is about but I’m sure when it comes on in the club, all the damn Be.yonce-wannabees go nuts just like they did for Freakum D.ress, Get Me Bodi.ed, etc. It’s amazing how a group of women can transform when a song by Mrs. Carter comes on….

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I don’t even listen to the song on the radio. I turn it off. If I can’t see the video, why bother? Do you SEE what’s in the video?!?!? Sooooooooooooooooooooooon.

What you say Hov? “No that ain’t Pilates, her body just thick” <—- you ain’t neva lied homie.

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on October 27, 2008.

11 Responses to “Random | modnaR”

  1. I’m DEFINITELY not afraid to give credit where credit is due…
    [Bey’s body is on poooooooint!!!!]

    SMH @ those boots…
    [Nope…NOT HOT!!!]

    LOL @ you asking for a five cent refund [in pennies]…
    That’s right…
    Run em’ down for it too!!
    [Lawd knows, they’d do it to you.] 🙂

  2. yoooo, I definately do that definite joint… my bad. I’ll be on the look out for that typo… definitely.

  3. Beyonce is working it in that video. I give props where it’s due.

    Those boots are a hot azz mess!

    My co-worker and I were just talking about the Bust your windows song. He said “Why do you women do that ish?” I said, “I don’t know. I would just sleep with your best friend.” LMAO!

  4. OMG, Fresh I needed that laugh this morning. Everything was ON POINT! Those open toe boots…HOT AZZ MESS! Eh, I’m not feeling the Beyonce song AT ALL. Her body is nuts! Umm..YES the Beyonce wanna bes are going to be ALL OVER THAT in the club(aren’t we to old to be doing choreographed dances in the club?? LMAO)

  5. I was thinking the same thing about the backwards B. Why not an O. Dummy!

    My girl LOVES her some whatever that gasolina dudes name is. I called her out when I found out he was rallying for McLame.

    And your revense song…CLASSIC.

  6. DEAD @ your revenge song.. LOL.. those boots are a hot arse mess.. that song is stupid..B is working it.. but da gheys comebacks PRICELESS hahahahaaaa da B wannabees better step their games up LOL

    son you know halloween straight hats and hoodies.. protecting the hair from the nair laced eggs!!!! not trying to lose no hair.. LOL.. just crazy..

  7. OMG!! Why were all my coworkers turned around asking me what’s so damn funny? That Fresh remix had me DYING!

    And I hated it when people said Dreams too. That and ValenTIMES Day.

  8. That remix had me in tears!! LMAO!!

    People still walking around calling Love “Dreams”, irks me every time. And I HATE when people say “that’s mines” instead of “that’s mine”.

  9. Lessons of the Day:
    1. Retarded bitches shouldn’t be carving knives or mirrors…

    2. Hybrid shoes are a no-no. Either it’s a boot or it’s a peep-toe. Pick one and stick with it.

    3. Mexicans are good for adding S’s to shit. “This bumper was pulled off by the bus of Selenas!” LOVE that movie. JLo should have left it at that; just played Selena for the rest of her life…Selena the sequal – ‘Singing in Heaven. Selena the prequal – ‘Bambina Sings the Blues’.

    ’till next time…

  10. First thing, I so don’t get those boots. What in the world???

    Secondly, you are so right about your “remix” on getting revenge. There is not one dude that wouldn’t be thrown after picturing that crap. lol

  11. I had to come out of lurking after reading this post. Your remix had me laughing at work. I wondered why she didn’t bust any windows in the video either.
    And gasolina guy is just trying to get attention.

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