Funky Fresh Parenting

I don’t know what you people out there in blogloand do for a living or a paycheck but part of your boy Funky Fresh job description is to represent the CSS at a trade show.

BOOOO-RING. Trade shows suck.

People don’t care about your products or services. They just want your damn goodies. Pens, gadgets, balls. Whatever. If the shit lights up, you will have a million and one people at your booth asking for your shit. We had janitors coming up to us asking us for stuff for their kids and pets. In the beginning you shun people like that off but by the last day and the last hour, with your feet hurting and you’re tired of wearing the same royal blue shirt with your company logo on it, you just start giving shit away to anybody that’s breathing. You don’t want to have to ship or carry that crap back to HQ.

So the highlight of my conference, other than finally seeing some black people on Day 2, was the conversation I somehow managed to get myself in today. The discussion was about none other than parenting. Typical for people that ummm….are parents right. At some point, everyone talks about their kids. What I found was that during the convo, I was the one giving the advice – and I think that’s because my child was other than theirs and had been through the stages they were describing.

Imagine this. Me and two white ladies in the middle of a conference hall talking about parenting. I felt like the black Dr. or a blac.k ma.le version of N.anny 9.11. It was hilarious.

Her: So Fresh, Becky just won’t listen to me and I try putting her on timeout and she just rebels.

Me: You need to pop her lil’ ass when she act up. Bet she won’t do that sh*t again.

Her: Lil’ Annie has this habit of writing on things and last night she wrote on my couch.

Me: You need to pop that lil’ ass when she write. Bet she won’t do that sh*t again.

So naturally that discussion turned into a blog post and now into an idea. I’m gonna post more about my adventures in parenting. Not everyday but every once in a while.

Real talk. Real parenting. Straight from Funky.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on April 18, 2008.

11 Responses to “Funky Fresh Parenting”

  1. lol@ Becky and Annie!

  2. I was sitting here reading this like, time out?? time out??? Oh no. LOL I must admit- popping of that lil’ ass does indeed work

  3. Lol! Totally agree plus I know what you mean about working at the trae shows they are hella boring I tend to just give stuff away 2. Shoot come to the end of the day I start handing people out multiple leaflets by accident lol

  4. UGH…..Trade shows SUCK. Don’t miss them at all. I do miss the free company beverages afterwards though!

    LMAO @ you giving advice. Poppin some azz never fails to get kids to straighten right up. Can’t wait for your take on being a Daddy.

  5. You should have told them to gannk they lil’ azzes and shake them by the throat…bet they would never do that shyt again…NEVER-EVER!!!

  6. LMAO at you.. I’m saying did you save me any of the gadgets from your trade show? LOL

    Parenting.. LOL hmm hahahaaa this is gone be funny cause I know she gets you with that look!

  7. lmao @ the black Dr. you need to help this woman at my job. she won’t be firm with him and wonders why he hits and bites her. out of control.

  8. Me: You need to pop her lil’ ass when she act up. Bet she won’t do that sh*t again.

    as black adult that had plenty of whupins as a child (southern expat parents), i agree.

  9. I had my great niece for a few hours this weekend, and her little ass is all of 8 months, trying to walk, and getting into everything.

    Tell her no, that li’l heffa touches it anyway. And then pop! goes that thigh. My girlfriend was like damnnnnnnn Nina…ya’ll [my family] spank the babies? I’m like we spank embryos if we can get to ’em. 😆

  10. A lil’ poppin’ early in the game goes a long way…My nephew knows all about it. Can’t wait for the Daddy posts!

  11. I put MYSELF on timeout…why, you ask? I’m poppin’ lil’ asses left and right. I know me and my temper, and I’ll mess around and start punching the lil’ heffa…thus I put myself on timeout.

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