Is This Mic On?

Back in the blogging saddle (for all those who commented and sent emails related to the previous post – me thank ya – but I’m not going anywhere yet……..yet….)

Not sure what it is this morning…..

Maybe it’s the weather that put a little umph in my step. Maybe it’s the Ghostfac.e CD that’s bumping in the car. Maybe it’s because I finally got a haircut (I was woofing something serious son). Or maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have to be at work until 11am. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the back to back cuties in line in Pan.era Bread 🙂

Anyway, on to the randomness…..

70 degrees today. I missed the spring weather last week because I was out in the sticks of Kentucky. Yes. Ken-tuck-y.   Apparently some of you went off on your own and got spring ready. And I’m not ready for you to be spring ready. I like warmer weather. I’m tired of rocking a big ass jacket. But here’s what I’m not ready for….

TOES……It’s bad enough I think feet are ugly but yo, this morning I think I witnessed what had to be the ugliest piece of feet I have seen in my life. I mean, damn, how you gonna ruin my breakfast like that with crap?

WHIPS…..I know the weather is nice and you want to drop your windows and play your music but homie, when your car is vibrating, literally shaking when your music plays.  All I hear is buzzing. No music. How in the hell do you hear? I can’t even hear myself think when you pull up next to me.

OUTFITS…..I know the weatherperson said mostly sunny but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be warm all day long so realize you’re going to be cold and some point. The other shit about outfits is the material begins to disappear. Scantily clad comes back in style. Check it out. Know your body. Know what works and what doesn’t work.  If you rocking the 46GG breasts, rocking a tank top to work just might attract some attention. If you got a butt that looks like two midgets hanging on for life, those tight jeans might make your boss horny. Real talk. Know the difference between clothes you can wear to work and clothes you can wear out and clothes you can wear behind closed doors with your bun-bun.

ATTITUDES…..You know how the shit goes. When it gets hot, attitudes raise up. People don’t beef when it’s cold. They’re too busy trying to get someplace warm. But when it starts getting warm, a “fuck you” is quick to come out of someone’s mouth. Well “fuck you” might come out quick all season long but when it gets warmed, it’s followed by a stare, or a push or shove. Nobody wants to see you break out the V.aseline, put it on your face and pull off your earrings. Just chill. Think before you do.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR…..There will be weddings and happy couples holding hands and love birds chirping and all that other love stuff. If that’s you, you’ll be enjoying life. If it’s not you, don’t hate on the mofo’s that are enjoying it. It’s not fresh.  Your time will come but for now, get your “i’m-never-going-to-find-a-man” ass off the couch and get out and about. P.rince Ch.arming doesn’t just come knock on your door.  And for the record, don’t show off at weddings either and if you’re getting married, do not do some ghetto fab shit that will get passed around in email…..If I see another L.ouis V.utton cake, I’m gonna lose it…..

Any other advice….


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on April 16, 2008.

5 Responses to “Is This Mic On?”

  1. Going with the feet thing…ashy heels are not, I repeat NOT the new black! Have you ever heard of the Ped-Egg? Learn about it, hell…Google it!

  2. Crusty heels and bad toes? Do something about it. And head to the gym NOW. Don’t wait until the weekend before you plan on going away.


    Uh…which Ghostface? Fishscale? Iron Man? What’s up Brooklyn?

  3. maaaaaaaaaaaaan
    tell me why i saw some chick with booty shorts on and hooker boots comin out my building today?
    there is no excuse for that mess

  4. Welcome back!

    Advice…. stop making your own clothes… or should I say using scissors to enhance the clothes you bought… why did I see this chick at a happy hour the other night… one pants leg was cut to be shorts and the other pants leg just had a huge circle cut out at the thing… I thought… she cant be serious… like thats a joke right.

  5. It was definitely the back to back cuties. That always makes a day. And I am so with you on them whips.

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