What do you do?

Can I get an Amen?

I promised myself I would not go to church and make fun of anyone. So I purposely didn’t pay attention to the hats, outfits, colors, excessive weaves or anything like that. E.aster Su.nday service is like a fashion show. I just focused on the service. *ahem* BUT LET ME SAY THIS……..

Other than Tar.get and D.SW, I would have to add one place to my list of spots of where to meet women. Yup, you guess it, now say it with me….

Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!!!!!

And the lawd says……Dammmmmmmnnnnn…… and I said that too.

It was all fine and dandy till the usher boy started playing wifey a bit too close for my liking. HEY HEY HEY usher boy, if you wanna keep those white gloves clean, back on up homeskillet. There’s plenty in here for you and this ain’t one……..

Okay, on to my real post for the day…………….

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Ho, Housewife, Husband

Interesting convo with one of my peeps recently. Weigh in on this. Here’s the question…..

Can you turn a ho into a housewife? Hell, can you turn a ho into a husband?

Now before you all go fly off the handle and snapping your necks and sucking your teeth and hit me with phrases like Hell to the Nah or a Ho is always going to be Ho or any other classic ghetto corollaries, think about this. Let’s break it down.

What defines “ho” status? The number of “victims”? The things they do? Have they been Supermanned?!?!? Youuuuuuuuuuuuuu…….(sorry couldn’t resist)

W.ilt Ch.amberlain might qualify with his 20,000 women claim. Yeah right W.ilt – I can do math. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilt_Chamberlain#Love_life_and_.2220.2C000_women.22_claim)

What if you meet a guy or girl that likes sex? They’ve been with a few people but are entirely focused on YOU. Do you bolt because of their past? Let’s say they are drug and disease free too. Do you roll out?

What if the person is more of a social “ho”? (I don’t know if that’s a term or not) but maybe he/she is not sleeping with everyone but he/she knows everyone and every time you go out with them, they bump into someone else they know? Can you handle that? What gives?

Do you give the person a chance and then the first sign of ho-ness, you roll out? Or do you even bother and just roll from the beginning?

If the person admitted to you that they cheated in their previous relationship, does that affect how you treat them in your current relationship? What if you were cheated on previously, does that affect your new relationship?

Some people, not all, but some, have a hard time looking beyond a person’s past. Some people, not all, have a hard time getting through their own past. Some people are just good at wiping the slate clean and starting fresh.

Let’s say you’re the one with the past. Do you openly tell someone the minute you feel things getting serious? Do you tell them a little? Tell it all? Or do you keep it quiet and only, only if the other person finds out, do you start talking?

Do you sit them down and say “Look, there’s something you should know about me before we get serious. I had sex with 20 people (pause…wait to see their reaction………………then continue your confession)…………….last month.

I know some of these are rhetorical questions, but what I’m trying to get at is if the person has a past or some history of something (sex, drugs, lies, whatever), where do you draw the line?

BE REAL. ARE YOU DOING IT RIGHT NOW?

I’ve probably….no….wait…..there are things I have not said for the sole reason of saving/maintaining a relationship and I KNOW I’m not the only one.

Speak up. The floor is yours…..

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on March 25, 2008.

11 Responses to “What do you do?”

  1. lol @ the usher ogling wifey
    i’d be heistatnt to enter into a relationship with someone who told me they had cheated
    same goes for someone who seems to jump in and out of relationships
    i think the hoing mentality is hard to change
    but it can be done
    i just aint tryna take that chance

  2. These days, I’m hesitant to enter a relationship with anyone becasuse people are shady. They can play the role but for the sake of argument, I’ll play along.

    If I guy has a past, I’m definitely a little more hesitant to start something with him. I judge a person off their past but I do judge them off their actions. He could be saying one thing and be doing something completely different.

  3. depends on the situation. (pause…wait to see their reaction………………then continue your confession)…………….last month? classic funky.

  4. i don’t think you can turn a ho into a husband. only he can make the decision to be a better man.

    there are somethings in my past (i’m disease free and have no habits) that does not necessarily affect my future husband. and i will NOT be offering up the information. i’ve told him that i have no secrets but i did have a life before he came along.

    i draw the line before hand when it comes to drugs, alcohol, abuse (physical/emotional) and positive disease status or ANY kind.

  5. I guess it would depend on the what and why. I would like to think that I wouldn’t judge a potential based on past actions because my past is not spot free.

    But honestly, I would probably prefer not to know anything that isn’t going to harm me. Just like I wouldn’t be offering up any information that didn’t affect him directly.

  6. This is when taking your time to really get to know someone is really important. If your prospective mate has disclosed some rather unsavory characteristics about themselves that should give you pause to closely watch them to see if that behavior is truly in the past. SOME and I do mean SOME people have a propencity to change but only time will tell the true tale. Take your time see see if those past behaviors are truly in the past. If so, I don’t see a reason to not enter into a relationship with that person.

  7. What’s done in the past is the past unless the outcome directly can have an affect on me now. If you currently have a disease….then you need to come clean. If you dabbled in drugs or engaged in questionable uh…relations, you need to come clean. Those are behaviors that can affect me personally and I need to know up front before I move any further with the relationship.

    If you slept with more quite a few people but are disease free and now dating me? I don’t really need to know all of the gory details.

    All this does is present a GREAT argument for getting to know someone before sleeping with them.

  8. If you’re in a committed relationship with a person that makes you want to do better…there is no need to rehash the past. In past relationships others may have let us get away with stuff, not met us halfway with our emotional/physical/mental needs or desires which lead us to act “extra.” If the person you are currently with beckons respect and satisfies most of your needs and desires, it’s not even worth it to put your past on blast. Circumstances change.

  9. I am not a fan of social hos and if it’s not a term, then it should be cause I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t dismiss that person, but I would start to look at them sideways especially if it affected the way they carry themselves as a whole…

  10. One can’t move forward if all they’re going to do is study the things that happened in the past.

    Does this mean I don’t or I won’t??? [HELLZ NO] — LOL

    I’m just sayin’ tho!!!

  11. Social ho will be in Webster’s by year end. I think it will appear after shizzle,lol.

    On the real though, listen to a person when they tell you who they are. In my experiences, those that have cheated in the past are telling you how they deal with adversity in their relationship (read: when sh!t hits the fan, I’ma start creepin’) so listen to those when they tell you.

    As for me, I try to give everyone their chance to prove themselves to me because I’m not a huge fan of hearsay (gotta be the attorney in me, lol) so with me, your slate is clean.

    There’s a quote that says, and I’m paraphrasing, “Regardless of your past, you have a spotless future”

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