Cupid Lick Shot! Mo’ Fiyah. Mo’ Fiyah.

There’s a good chance I didn’t read your blog yesterday if it started off saying Fuck Cupid. There’s a lot of people that I didn’t even talk to yesterday because the minute they opened their mouth, negative comments spewed. It was crazy. Let me give you an exact conversation:

Me: Hey wassup….

Them: Bullshit ass Valentines Day for the suckas, that’s what’s up.

Me: I’ll holla at you later.

Them: Why whats wrong?

The hate mongers of love were out in full force. I didn’t want to deal. But overall, the day was good and the night was even better. Hopefully everyone who celebrated enjoyed theirs. How was it? Where did it rank? Was it memorable? Don’t worry. This isn’t another one of those reflective (well) and prolific posts. There’s enough brothers out there who have my name on the hitlist ( if you were smart home skillets, you would have used my post to your advantage!) but there some more deep thoughts in my head that have yet to surface on here.

But not today. Today I give you my top 5 previous V-Day Cupid moments…….(and then I’ll put Cupid to rest)

#5 – Can you spare a dime?

Dinner at Jordan’s on V-Day (before the Wizards gave Michael Jordan the swift boot), there’s a couple sitting next to us. They get the bill and the guy doesn’t have enough to pay. Guess who he asked to spot him some money?

#4 – You just trying to fuck me.

One year I got suckered into taking my boy’s girlfriend’s friend out. And I agreed because in the pic she looked nice so I wasn’t going to have another incident like this. She was one of those types that thought she looked better than she really did and got pissed at EVERYTHING and before the night was over, she kept screaming that I was just trying to fuck her. “Uh uh, nigga you ain’t slick, you trying to touch my coochie. You just trying to fuck me?” Uhh, no I’m not. “Yes you are nigga. I know niggas like you. Running game and shit. You just trying to fuck me” Even if I was, the attitude ruined it for me. I dropped her off and rolled out. It’s not that serious.

#3 – Who gets flowers?

I met a girl when I was out on New Years Eve one time, so we started kicking it. Well, on V-Day, she sent a bouquet of roses to my job. Turns out her uncle worked there – that’s how she got the address. Can I tell you I got clowned for what seemed like an eternity because I got roses?. Shit never happened to me before. But those dudes at my job were just mad because the night before, said girl had Dope Boy Fresh putting in work and after those roses, he had to put in some more work.

#2 and #1 – Mo’ fiyah. Mo’ fiyah.

This one right here deserves two spots. So I had a main chick who lived out of town. And I had a local jumpoff. Main chick wasn’t coming until the weekend because V-Day fell during the week. So I entertained local jumpoff.  Local jumpoff violated rule # 3 in the Jumpoff Handbook which states “Jumpoffs shall not provide gifts of any sort on any of the holidays”. So I get these pair of ugly ass silk boxers and a bunch of other sex toy shit like dice and flavored condoms. Well, when local jumpoff leaves, I dispose of the sex shit and kick the box with the boxers under my bed. Main chick comes on Friday night and is staying a few days even into the week. Fresh goes to work one day and comes home. Something smells funny. Smells like something is burning. Well main chick decides to clean my spot while I was gone and proceeded to clean under the bed and sees the boxer gift and proceeds to get her A.ngela-Bas.sett-Wa.iting-To-Exhale-On, in my kitchen. So I see ashes of silk boxer just all over the place. In my head I’m like awww shit but it got worse. It’s one thing when you get caught cheating. But when you gotta explain “why” to a black woman, you might as well just give up……..

~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on February 15, 2008.

9 Responses to “Cupid Lick Shot! Mo’ Fiyah. Mo’ Fiyah.”

  1. is that why aint drop a line by the spot?
    i didnt think i was that harsh at all
    u got roses?
    thats cute
    but were u just tryna fuck tho?
    before she copped an attitude.
    jumpoff handbook?
    can i find it at Barnes n Nobles?

  2. I got news for you Fresh- chick wasn’t cleaning chick was snooping. We don’t clean under the bed at our man’s unless we are looking for something!

  3. lol at #2 and #1.. that is priceless! She was ALL IN YO SHIT! Who cleans under the bed?! LOL

  4. Happy Belated Valentine’s Day 🙂

  5. hahahaa @ Mo’Fiyah hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  6. wait did DUDE ASK YOU TO SPOT HIM?

  7. woooooooooooow. a bouquet of roses? LMAO!! oh hilarious. and patrice is right. I’M NOT CLEANING AAAAAAAND certainly not under your bed.

  8. Dope Boy Fresh earned his roses! LOL.

  9. I agree with Babs, chicks don’t clean under the bed unless they are looking for something!!! Good Post!!

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