I’m not going in….

When I was younger and living with my mother, she would bug out the minute she found out we were going to have company. Boy we gotta “straighten up” the apartment. You know, straightening up isn’t the same as cleaning. Cleaning up means you break out the disinfectant and yellow scrub gloves and get busy. Straightening up means you toss and move stuff out of sight until company leaves.

Now if said person coming over is a regular, you never really do sh*t. But for first-timers, yeah, you gotta get busy. My mom was big on not having people talk crap once they walk out your door. “I’ll be damn if they talk about me”. To this day, I’m the same. Even if my boys are bringing over some jumpoff, my house has to be presentable. Now if my boy comes by himself, fugg’em.  When I was younger, I would play with this other kid that lived on the 1st floor. I NEVER went into his house after the day I walked in there and saw a roach taped to the wall.

Which brings me to the point of this entry. I went house-shopping with wifey and her friend. This was for her friend who is a first time home buyer. Now I would think that if I’m trying to sell my home and I know people are coming, I would do my best to make it presentable. Apparently not. Out of the 4 houses we looked at, only 1 was decent. The other 3 were……hideous.


To the point where one particular house, I didn’t even want to step foot inside. I went back to the car.  The others – I saw thongs on the floor, stains in the carpet that looked real suspect like they used it as an ash tray. I saw dirt rings in the tub and we won’t even talk about stench and to top it off, we were once greeted by these 44GG breasts. Yes the owner came to the door scantily clad to which wifey turned around and told me to “be quiet and close your eyes”. Guess she knows me huh?

I can’t and won’t knock where someone lives because I don’t know their situation. The thing is it doesn’t matter what you got going on. You could live in a 7 bedroom house or a 7 foot apartment. Take some pride in it. Don’t live like animals.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on February 10, 2008.

10 Responses to “I’m not going in….”

  1. I do too much straightening up. One of these days I’ma get it together and clean something… which is the reason I only invite family over to my house. any other business is taken to YOUR house.

    But I definitely feel this. when I get a house, or apartment, I’ma have it so clean you can eat dinner, drop something and break the 3 second rule with no hesitation. Real McRapperman™.


  2. lmao @ the 44GG’s
    ima lazy sumabitch so i aint doin shit
    as long as it’s presentable
    and what the hell u mean by roach taped to the wall?

  3. The roach was taped to the wall? *sigh*

    Yeah…nastiness is not cute.

  4. I mean a roach taped to the wall. He killed it with his shoe. The joint stuck to the wall. He took a piece of clear scotch tape and taped that sucka.

  5. Maybe the roach was taped to the wall to set an example for all the other roaches…”ya’ll mutthafukkas come out here and this is what will happen to your nasty azz!” I aint mad at them…that was GANGSTA!

  6. What in damndashin….. LOL LMAO @ wifey.. turn around and close your eyes LMAO hahahaaaaa

    Take pride in your shyt.. cause I am NOT eating or using your bathroom if you dutty & nasty

  7. A ROACH TAPED TO THE WALL!??!! WHAT THE?! huh uh. “be quiet and close your eyes”?! hilarious!!

  8. Oh that is some triflin’ shit! I had a similar experience when I was house shopping a couple years back. This couple had a big ass pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the living room floor.

  9. Ey Fresh, You ever think that the 44GG were a distraction to get you inside the house because the owner knew the house wasn’t worth two rupees?

  10. Oh my lanta. I am a neat freak for that reason: aint no one coming over my crib and saying anything less than: ‘Sha got a NICE pad’! How some people live is gross! I went to this dudes house once, it was so nasty, I wouldn’t sit on the couch or lean on the wall. I just stood up in the middle of the living room..lol

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