The Braggadocious

Some cats really like to, you know, profile and front…….

I’m not the type of dude to not be happy for folk when they get something nice, especially if they bust their rear-end to get it. I’m not a “hater” nor is my glass filled with “haterade”. I’m generally happy for folks and I hope that they are generally happy for me. But there always seems to be that one person who “gets” and wants to let everyone know they “got it” and that my blog friends, annoys the piss out of me.

Lately though a certain co-worker has been feeling himself a little too much lately and I don’t know if it’s his Napoleon syndrome (he’s like 5’3′-5’4″ on a good day) has been in overdrive but whatever it is, he needs to stop. Since I have to pass by his office when I come in, he’ll stop me, tell me what’s new or if not, he’ll make that effort to find people and tell him. When he got the i.Phone – we knew. When he started working out – we knew.

Today when I walk in, there’s a crowd in his office. Sweeeeeeeeeeet. This gives me a chance to skip right past him but with the people in his office being ALL female, I knew something was up. By the way, said person, SWEARS he’s a ladies man too. Like 4 females. Hmmmm…….Either it’s pictures from his vacation OR he bought a new whip. I got to my office, looked out the window and saw a car parked back there, that’s not normally there. I knew it. Immediately….

No quicker than I thought it, another co-worker comes in to tell me to be on the lookout. In her words “Showoff got a new car”. 30 minutes later, Showoff is in my office with 2 of the 4 female co-workers in tow and his shirt unbuttoned a few. “Yo….my man Fresh, check out the new whip I bought” giving me a pound and dangling his keys to his brand new 2 door sports car. “I’m ’bout to go take these 2 for a ride, wanna come” Nah, I’ll pass. When he leaves, the one who called him “Showoff” comes back in my office to tell me how he’s trying to kick it to her. That gave me the laugh of the day. She’s like 5’10 with heels and about as pro-black as you can get. In fact my nickname for her is Ass-ata (I broke it up like that for a reason). He’s 5’3″ New K.ids on the B.lock-ish type, gel in his hair. But he lusts after her. He even asked me to hook them up and I said “NO”. Plain and simple. She’s continually shot him down but today she tells me that he hit her with the “I got a fast car and I know you wanna ride” line. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Y’all killin’ me son!

I don’t know if it was the way that I was brought up or if I just have some common sense, but I’m just not one to go around telling people what I have and rubbing that stuff in their face. It’s not Fresh. And that’s the problem a lot of these celebrities and athletes have. They get it and want to flaunt it. Well everyone doesn’t have and to some people, in order for them to get, you have to get GOT. If you notice I have something and want to extend a compliment, that’s cool. But you won’t catch me parking in a parking spot where everyone can see what I have just to get some notoriety. To me that’s dumb especially when your management can see the same parking lot as everyone else. They might be like oh, he just bought a new sportscar, he doesn’t need a big raise – he’s obviously doing well with out one.

Now I like to have nice things just like you
But I’m from Brooklyn, certain shit you just don’t do

I’m going to make dude a CD as a new car gift and this is the first song I’m putting on there….


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on February 4, 2008.

10 Responses to “The Braggadocious”

  1. Hilarious! My old roommate from college has turned into this dude (except for the height thing). I can’t stand someone who feels like they always have to brag. That is why I can’t stand most of the rap that is out now.

  2. Too funny. My old boss was like that, and he had serious Napoleon syndrome plus unfortunate features, so he felt that bragging about material things was the only way to get respect from people.

  3. That’s sad that he is known as the showoff. That’s so high school. Grown men walking around bragging? Blech.

  4. haahahahahahaha. i love the song. so pullin out that cd. thanks! “I got a fast car and I know you wanna ride”???? wow. i would pull out my fake phone and be like “HR?” step back midget.

  5. LOVE IT!! BTW- that song is my ish! Rob his ass for all that show off, ish he’s doing. He need to get GOT!

  6. “There is universal law, whether rich or poor
    Some say life’s a game, to more, life is war
    So put them egos to the side and get off them head-trips
    ‘Fore some cats pull out them heaters and make you head-less…”

    That’s what I’m talking about son. LOL

    I got a fast car? That ish hasn’t worked since Tracy Chapman.

  7. lol @ 1969. I’m not even from BK and I know that, that is one of the universal rules of the hood and of life in general. Never draw unnecessary attention to yourself b/c you will get got. Maybe you should just drop dude off on Bushwick Ave. and see how far he gets with that bragging ish.

  8. I can totally feel your pain on this one. But what I hate even more than a braggadocious person is a person who brags about things they used to have.

    If I hear one more “I had a BAAAD Benz in 1989” from a man driving a 1997 Camry I will scream

  9. Why am I over her on my neck?

    Dead @ “…and his shirt unbuttoned a few.” What in tarnation is going on at your office where he needs to have his shirt unbuttoned?

  10. I hate them muhfuggas too!

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