Get up off your ass….

People are funny.

Some people just have this programmed notion in their head that things come easy, not realizing that to get to a certain place, it takes work and dedication. Not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth. To be honest, I don’t know too many people that were. Plastic spoon maybe but silver? Nah.

So it bugs me out when people make this assumption especially when it’s family.

My 22 year old cousin is lazy. Capital L-A-Z-Y. I’m calling her out on here and I called her out in person when I saw her this past weekend. Ever since she was born, she’s been babied. Barely made it through high school. Dropped out of college after one week because it wasn’t for her. I got her a job through a friend of mine and she quit after two weeks saying they were being too hard on her. When I asked mutual friend what happened, he told me she came in late everyday and would take 2 hour lunches and was slacking. Go figure. Ran up her cell phone bill and credit cards to astronomical amounts and each time, someone bailed her out. So for the last couple of years, she hasn’t been working, sitting on her ass and pimping my grandmother and aunt for money. She has a child now and still continues to sit on her ass. So I took it to her, in true smart ass in your face but not demeaning F.resh fashion and then when I was done, I took to her pops, my aunt and my grandmother.

She thinks everything was handed to me. It was quite the opposite. Sure ma dukes provided for me but I saw what she did and how she bust her ass to give to me. I internalized that same work ethic from her and got on my grind too. It’s gotten me to where I’m at now and it’s damn sure going to take me past here to reach my goals. From the jump, my mom taught me how to be self-sufficient. And while I griped and groaned and said stuff under my breath, today, I’m grateful.

When I got to college, I knew how to cook (not gourmet but well enough to survive), separate and wash clothes and other “basic” stuff. You’d be surprised how many people couldn’t survive away from home. Not to mention, how many people walked around with “light blue” t-shirts that were originally “white”.

After a while, you have to let go. Little Shanequa isn’t little anymore. She’s a damn teenager about to graduate from high school so why are you still doing things for her? Little Leroy needs to know how to iron his own clothes before he gets to college. (That’s another true college tale for you). This (among other reasons) is why you have these 30+ year old dudes who never left home. You gotta give them tough love.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on January 8, 2008.

15 Responses to “Get up off your ass….”

  1. i loved this one in college too..

    i shopped around for the best student bank acct to establish in the my new city away from home. i asked one of my friends which one they decided on and they said “i forget, my mom has all of that information”… astonished.

    or… the best one…

    my friend bought a box full of cartons of chocolate milk. i found them under her bed where she was storing them. she said that regular milk needed to be refrigerated, not chocolate milk. LOL!!

  2. I feel you! My sisters sound so much like your cousin minus the week of college add a couple kids. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how they can be comfy living that way. Some people have NO drive and unfortunately there seems to always be someone waiting to pick up the slack and “help” them out.

  3. I can honestly say that I witnessed my older sister taking advantage of my mother and other family members. And that has caused me to want to do better for myself in terms of being able to provide and take care of myself. My mother started me out at 10 years old with doing my own laundry and learning about finances. Now I can admit, I can’t cook all that well, but I can read recipes and if anything, shes showin me how to cook now. I never understood why some people who have opportunities thrown at them, buck under the pressure, or just say no to said opportunities because they feel they can’t hang.

  4. there always seems to be one in every family. the problem is that the family enables them, makes excuses for their shortcomings. my little sister is not quite as bad but since she’s the baby, she takes full advantage of it and always complainin bout her life was so hard….gurl stop! we grew up in the same household.

  5. @kia – yeah i had people like that in my circle. didn’t know a thing. and you at them funny like “you for real?!?!?!”

    @Patrice – i feel you. how can people live that way?

    @brran1 – you gotta wonder. some people may think the opportunity is too much to handle…maybe? who knows…

    @mint – they trip me out with that “my life is so hard” mess.

  6. lack of ambition is not a good look
    especially when u have kids

  7. These youngsters have a lot to learn. My sons are five and three and they already pick up after themselves, put their clothes in the hamper, clear their plates, help me to carry in the groceries and put them away, etc. They also love to help me cook.

    I am raising MEN not eternal boys.

  8. My brother. 27 years old and has never left home. Oh! And he just had a baby and now eeryone is treating him like a ‘effing king. Let me come around pregnant! Boy….

  9. exactly!!! both of my kids have responsibilities around the house.. although I hate to say it I believe my son will be more self sufficient than my daughter cause she a lazy somebody.. but I’m working on her.. I’m definitely raising a man.. but my daughter is a work in progress.. its hard when you battle another parent.. *sigh*

  10. I so feel you!!! I know sooo many who are that way and think that mess is cute. Its not!! My mother and father spoiled my siblings and I but they also taught us how to be self sufficient…Parents need to man up and stop trying to baby their GROWN kids.

  11. Man … sounds to me as if she was given positive reinforcement of some not so positive habits and now she’s crippled as a result. That’s too bad, but if folks let her sink or swim, she’ll either figure it out or she’ll … have to figure it out.

  12. take one for the fam, just don’t let it cramp your style. And don’t condone, or co-sign it ever.

  13. AMEN!!! You betta’ preach, pastor Fresh! I feel the same way – my brother is supa dupa lazy and swears on a stack of bibles that your truely is spoiled. Oh, I’m sorry that I had a job in high school and could afford to be fresh while you were lazy and left to begging, please forgive me! I bought my first car with my own money fresh out of highschool, he swore that my mother bought it instead of my hard work, from not spending any money all summer from my J-O-B…ugh.

  14. Aiight, this proves it ain’t just my family.

    Thanks you, White Baby Jesus!


  15. I’m trying to break one of my nephews of habits like this now. He gave me a box of info he received from different colleges to “read & explain to him”. I took him down the hall, told him to look at the wall & realize that I already had my degree. Ugh! We need to start equipping these kids (and grown folk) for the real world.

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