Making his list…checking it twice…

So Fresh, what do you want from Christmas?

I can’t stand that damn question. Isn’t it weird that I have to tell you what I want? There’s no surprise. So when I open up the gift, it’s like oooooh wooooo….what a surprise! If people know you really well, shouldn’t they already have a clue? Unless of course your name is Fresh and you have proven to be one of the most difficult people to shop for. šŸ™‚ I’M SORRY……

So when people ask me…….especially over the last 2-3 years, I respond with “Nothing” or “I don’t know”.

Sometimes I’m really serious. I don’t want a thing. My gift to me is seeing people open up the stuff I bought them that they had no idea about. I don’t ask the “what do you want” question. I already know and was probably scheming on the gift for some time.

My gift to me is pulling the wool over my daughter’s eyes to have her thinking that some old fat ass white dude really came up in the crib while we were all sleeping and ate the cookies and drank milk. I only have a few more years before she busts my ass so why not continue. I even told her that S.anta needed a change and that she should probably leave him a slice of pineapple cake with coconut and some sweet tea. That might give it away though. Don’t you know she asked me how does Santa get in the house if we don’t have a chimney??! DAMNIT she’s on to me….

Back to the post…

This year, yeah, there are things I want….like one of these NV Homes or a Michael Harris joint…..with one of these in the driveway and rocking this IWC Portuguese joint or maybe I can have her, or her, or her, or her, or her, or all of them at the same time šŸ™‚ (I used to have H.alle on the list but she knocked up son!)

I don’t ask for things that are outrageous and that are going to smash someone’s bank account or fighting with their credit card company over a late payment or two. I hate when people have to take 6-8 months to pay off everything they bought for Christmas. But the truth is I really don’t know what I want. I’m one of those people who sees something they want and get it themselves and this creates a shop-for-Fresh nightmare.

Case in point – I “mentioned” that I wanted a N.intendo W.ii. Those sonsofbitches are damn near impossible to find but Fresh found 2 online in a 30 minute time span and guess what Fresh did. Yup. Fresh bought 2. What the hell you need with 2 W.ii’s Fresh?!?! I sold one of them bad boys on E-bay bay and made a profit son! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, mama ain’t raise no fool. But as soon as I copped it, over Turkey Day I heard, damn, we were going to get that for you…..See how I fugg things up?!?!?

So now I gotta go search for a gift and make a list……………


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 29, 2007.

15 Responses to “Making his list…checking it twice…”

  1. Yo, I’m on that Rover thing something ser’ous too. I finally indulged in a test drive on Black Friday as I steered clear of the malls, shopping centers and stores all together. The road was lovely as I drove the whip and the mister around, while the sales guy prolly had to pray our Black asses came back with that truck. I’m so excited because I know it will be my next big purchase…After I get a job. That settles it. All I want for Christmas is a J.O.B. I hope get at least one of those things on your imaginary list, Fresh. šŸ™‚

  2. You and Mr. 1969…impossible to shop for. What do you get a man that gets his suits custom made, owned a motorcyle and has $100 dollar ties? He claims he wants power tools? WTF?

  3. WHen people ask me what I wanted, for years I would say “I don’t know.” Now I just request a VISA or AMEX gift card so that I can purchase what I really want. I want pricey things like a new digital camera, a video camera, a new Coach bag (Yes I have a Coach addiction so screw you! Don’t judge me!) LOL and some other pricey things so just give me the gift card and I’m good.

  4. LMAO @ “or maybe I can have her, or her, or her, or her, or her, or all of them at the same time” — Keep on wishin’ brah…wifey ain’t havin dat shyt!!!

    I got my hands on a couple of Wii’s myself on black Friday. Saving one for my 7 y/o since I’ve been promising him I’d get him one since last Christmas [WHEN IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO] but that other one is going up on Ebay next week.

    Shew…gotta get that x-tra x-mas cash ya digg??? šŸ™‚

  5. Me and the Cranberry Range are going to make some beautiful music together…as soon as I find me a husband to help offset the cost LMAO!!

    I am tough to shop for too cause when I see sometihng I want I usually just buy it. And the shyt I want but cant just buy means I would never ask someone else to buy it for me (except my Daddy and well he already gave me a firm NO on my Range Rover request).

    Seriously, I have everything I need and pretty much most of what I want. In terms of possessions I am blessed beyond measure…so just being alive and loved is gift enough for me.

    P.S. Whycomeaintnbutonelightskinnedshickonyourwishlistfresh??? You prejudice or something LOL!!! I ain’t feelin the inequality going on up in here LOL!!

  6. @Pro – No cheating. No test driving until you can actually purchase. It just makes it that much harder to get back in your car.

    @Sixty – Power tools?!?!

    @Diva T – Hmmmm…..Coach addiction huh? Anything else you want to share…..

    @Ms Behave – I’m talking profit homie. I’m talking DOUBLE what I paid…you should be able to get at least that. I’m ’bout to go find another one….

    @Roycee – There are too lightskinnedchicks on there. Nia and Lauren. I made it fair. Me no discriminate. I am an equal opportunity lover.

  7. Yeah Fresh….you hating on the yellow-tan-cappuccino divas? Where is the lightskinned?

  8. lol, don’t be discriminatin on the high yellas!

    You know what I hate? People that give cash for Xmas. That is so lazy to me. When I get cash it ends up in my wallet and usually gets spent on gas or french fries or some ish. I rarely get gifts. So someone that takes the time to buy me a present, I love it! Even a gift card is better than cash.

  9. Hmmm. Light skinned chicks really don’t get no love… PS. Nia’s lightskinned?

  10. um, fresh, just so you know, nia isn’t light-skinned…so she doesn’t count. lol. kudos to you for liking the brown girls. anyhoo, you sound JUST like my boyfriend. i bought him a Wii cause he’s been talking about it and this mofo came home yesterday with one in his hands, talking about he got a great deal for it. i’m pissed! lol. guess i’ll just have to go get him some clothes of my picking…he’ll love that. lol.

  11. Same problem Boo has. He’ll mention something that he wants and as soon as he sees a store that has it, he’ll pull over and buy it immediately, ruining many a surprise. I might mess around and get him a box of nothing! lol

  12. @ Muze…Sell yours on eBay like Fresh did. And I “won’t” go mention that Fresh, m’dear, was showing mad love to the brown roun’ sisters. I digg! I tell you. My light-skinned sisters always want the bright light; as if their skin ain’t “light” enough. I got love for them seeing I was surrounded by they asses like forever-and-a-line-sorority-day! *LOL*

  13. Yuck…

  14. Mannnn please. You know Santa makes a chimney when there isn’t one! He got magic! How else would his big ass with a giant damn bag of gifts fit down ANY chimney? That is my story, and I am sticking to it. I suggest you do too!

    I can’t argue ya taste. I want that stuff too! Well except for the Rover. Now a Roush Stage 3… And I would still have to get wit Swollen Halle too…

  15. Wow you have some expensive items on your items on your Christmas list. I was wondering if your Santa was actually Oprah Winfrey and if she could get me a LR too. LOL.

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