I’m still random with it….

I can’t help it. I got a lot of random stuffage in my head. I can’t help it….

Some of you out there have a disease that hasn’t been detected by the CDC. It’s called neverontimitis…..(never-on-time-itis). I need to come up with a damn drug like these pharm companies to correct that shit. Instead of L.ipitor, it’ll be Alarmator. But then again, some of you will all of sudden have some side effects and next thing I know, I got a class action law suit on my hands. So fuck (I need to slow down my cursing…another day) fuck it, just motivate your ass to get to something on time and if you’re not gonna make it, pick up the phone. Shit. It’s that simple. Don’t come to me with no fashionably late excuse. You ain’t fashionable. You just late.

A family member had an appointment this weekend and showed up 58 minutes and 32 seconds late. That shit is just rude. No phone call. No smoke signals. Nothing. Just came up in the spot like nothing was wrong. They are ALWAYS late. They were late to their own wedding. REAL TALK. 90 minutes late to their own wedding. I was out the church door on my way to my car when their car pulled up. The day they’re on time, is the day when we’ll have a Black President, a Puerto Rican Vice President, a Mexican Secretary of State.

The hawk came out today. Cold as hell outside. So when I leave my house and drive past the high school, all the black kids dressed like they up in the North Pole rocking N.orthface jackets, bubble coats, looking real warm. I drive to work in the white neighborhood and these fuckas got on flip flops, and shorts with U.gg boots and a sweatshirt. Pale ass legs red as shit. WTF is wrong with them? Somebody please…explain…..

You know what’s funny to me? You ever go to the airport or I’ll go to these government buildings for meetings and they got these little ass security guards. Did you ever ask yourself, what the hell is this little dude/female gonna do to protect me? They ain’t even packing heat. They just doing some shit other than their job. The ill part about all this is……….if you go to a club, they got the biggest damn security guards/bouncers……We gonna be somewhat safe in the club but at work…shiiiiiiiiiiit, it’s fair game…..

Yesterday I went by this store that sells photo supplies but also serves as a studio for people to take pictures. Of course the shit was crowded with everyone taking pictures for Christ-mas. So, I’m in the spot and naturally a lady catches my attention. Not because she looked good (I mean she did have a little rump) but because of everything she had going on. Her kids were running rampant in the spot and she acted like she didn’t see shit! (yes, she was on our team) Why? because her and her girls were too busy trying to get their Top M.odel on. Fixing each other’s hair, changing outfits. I thought the pics were for the kids. Obviously I was wrong. When 3AW (not 3.LW.) took their pictures, I had to stare. One had her jacket on the whole time but when she took it off, good lawd, her boobs smizacked me in the grill. So now I gotta stare harder cause I’m trying to use my powers to make them shits pop out her blouse. She had mad makeup on too (yes I did manage to take my eyes off the breasts) like she robbed a fuckin’ M.AC counter. The other girl was rocking the peep toe shoes. Now ladies, how many toes are supposed to “peep” through the “peep toe”? One, two at most? Yo, it was like 4 of her toes trying to squeeze through that damn hole? THAT’S MY WORD. They were all piled up on top of each other peaking out like they needed air or some shit or they just wanted to see what all the ruckus was outside the shoe. I mean DAMN. The third girl…….wait wait…….ahhh fugg it…….during the pictures the 3rd girl was sticking what was supposed to be her ass out like this was a photo at the club and she had the velvet backdrop with the spray painted picture of the champagne glass on it. I just started laughing. I can see it now….those greetings cards go out with “HO HO HO” written on the side……

(that was foul I know…….I’ll be nice now)


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 19, 2007.

21 Responses to “I’m still random with it….”

  1. I can’t stand to see women with their toes falling OVER the edge of the shoe..especially when they have that long second toe with the E.T. Phone Home Syndrome…repulsive.

  2. a lot of our people have neverontimitis. Personally, I’ve avoided that dreadful disease. I am punctual!

    lol at the 3AW- whatever that stands for!

  3. “Now ladies, how many toes are supposed to “peep” through the “peep toe”? One, two at most? Yo, it was like 4 of her toes trying to squeeze through that damn hole?”


    I see this all the time!! Or they try to paint just the big toe b/c they think thats the only one people will see!

  4. OMG…not the four toes trying to peep through? I am so done.

    Why do these things always happen to you man? You need to do a fashion don’t list for women. Maybe if they hear it from a man’s perspective….?

  5. See…see…I on’t even have nothing to add. ROFL!


  6. 58 minutes and 32 seconds late…and you call me OCD, Dude you counting seconds over there LOL!! But seriouisly I too would have been pissed.

    I thought black men were azz dudes, NOT boob dudes but this is like the 3rd or 4th time I heard you mention trying to use your special powers to dissolve the clothes concealing the boobs LMAO!!

    4 toes??? A sin and a shame but that shyt is FUNNY AS HELL….LMFAO!

  7. Ok this was funny as hell.


    Maaaan I hate to see one toe peepin outta them damn shoes much less three or more. Thanks for the laugh Fresh!! I needed that…

  9. Found out about your spot from Creole in D.C. I dig it.

    I don’t understand the whole time thing, either. I guess it comes down to them not being taught a lesson. 6 o’clock means 6 o’clock. Have someone show up a few times and you be nowhere in sight and they’ll get the point.

    These chicas and these damn peep toes … not every foot is a peep toe foot. If your toes are making a fucking u-turn, you might want to go with a round-toe shoe … a lsing-back, even, but not a peep-toe.

  10. OMG… that was so funny! You never think of men paying attention to shoes like that!

  11. …or they just wanted to see what all the ruckus was outside the shoe.

    I hollered!

  12. ROTFLMAO.. hahahaaaa did you say 3AW???/

    Wait did you say 4 toes out the peekaboo shoes???

    I’M SO DONE!!!

  13. “Now ladies, how many toes are supposed to “peep” through the “peep toe”? One, two at most? Yo, it was like 4 of her toes trying to squeeze through that damn hole?”

    I guess this shit is the new-day crime. Instead of ‘Peeping Toms’ you can get arrested for two too many ‘Peeping Toes’. You are silly as all get out!

  14. Found you through CreoleinDC –
    That post was two drops of pee funny!

  15. @Mack NOLA – Phone home huh? HAHAHAHAHAH

    @Babs – 3AW stands for 3 African Women or 3 Angry Women or anything word you want to put in the “A” place. LOL

    @Mags – You need to stop people from doing this if you nsee it all the time!!!!!

    @ Sixty – Good idea. I see a future post coming.

    @Creole – I speaks the truth.

    @Roycee – I’m an equal opportunist. I like breasts and azz but it’s easier to use my magic powers to have breasts fall out than to get an azz to fall out.

    @Lord H – HAAAAAAAAAA…..word…knowing your toes should determine you shoe game

    @ Erica B – I’m sure that gets passed a lot of dudes.

    @NinaMM – I should used the camera phone.

    @BK – you know I “peep” game.

    @Pro – She needed to get arrested for that plus more!!!

  16. I’m weak as hell crackin up over here! LOL I detest being late. Those ladies sound like a hot funky mess!! And not four toes with the peep toes! THAT had me howlin! Hellafied post! LOL

  17. I cannot breathe! I just read this joint twice! I cannot stop laughing. You broke it all down. All the way down! 😉

    ***like she robbed a fuckin’ M.AC counter. ***<<my favorite part! the peep 4 toe business made me fall off the chair! you are funny!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really needed to see this. i needed a good hearty laugh today and you set it up! thanks funkyfresh!

  18. 3AW. Peep toes. And nobody really touched on it, but Alarmator?It. Is. A. WRAP! You are the King! LOL.

  19. this is why white people dont dress for the weather like us. because their ancesters are from a milder climate (Europe) and our ancestors are from a much warmer climate,(Africa) genetically we are more sensitive to cold weather kinda like the same reason we have melanin.

    or we just like wearing fly boots, down coats, and other winter fashions.

    My momma used to say, white folk wear shorts when the sun is shining no matter what season

  20. Next time, get pictures!

  21. This paragraph will help the internet people for building up new
    blog or even a blog from start to end.

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