Big Poppa….Homemade Cards…..

I’m a daddy.

Not a sperm donater. Not a census increaser. Not a PTF (part-time father). Not a baby daddy (I despise that term and baby mama).

A daddy.

And to be perfectly honest with you, I love every minute of it.

One of the things I looked forward to as my kid got older was the day she would bring home something she made in day care/school for me so I can hang up in my office with pride. And a few years ago when she gave my wife (well at the time she was my girlfriend) a mother’s day card, I just knew my time was next. Father’s Day right?

Well Father’s Day came and went. No self made card smelling like Elmer’s Glue made up of random pieces of construction paper. No random colorings. No origami. Nothing. (I did get a Hallmark card but we all know who picked that out).

Truthfully I don’t need the accolades. I mean I do what I’m supposed to do. I helped bring someone into this world and I’m going to raise them. Period. I just want that acknowledged and respected.

So why are you trippin’ that you didn’t get a self made/homemade card Fresh? Keep reading……

I can’t lie. That bothered me and while I was having a conversation with the director of the learning center, I asked about the whereabouts of my card. (Joking of course). Her response “Well, we stopped doing that a few years back because some kids were making cards for their fathers and other kids didn’t have fathers and it created tension. A few parents (mothers) complained that it made it real uncomfortable for them to explain to their 3 year old that their father wasn’t around”. My first reaction was well, that’s not my fault.

But I understood. I was one of those 3 year olds. My father was a magician. One minute he was there. The next, he disappeared. Disappearing Acts.

But what really bothered was bigger than the card. For the first time since my child had been born, I was grouped with “one of them”. Who’s them? Deadbeats. (that needs to be read BeatDead) So now I have to suffer (exaggeration) because some dude doesn’t want to take care of his child? That’s wack. Deadbeats aren’t allowed in my world. I refuse to let any one in my circle father a child and not accept responsibility. Deadbeats isn’t even a word in my vocabulary. You want to know why there’s a bunch of little knuckleheads running around the street? You want to know why dudes just blatantly disrespect women? Deadbeats. Me and my pops. We’ve reconciled. So what he missed 20 years of my life. I’m over it. He’s making it up to me by being a grandfather to mine. That’s all I ask for.

I could write a whole week of blog entries discussing deadbeats and what they miss. I could talk about the first words and pre-K graduations and reports card and sports accolades but why waste my breath on them. For them I have two words.

Man Up.

I’ve since gotten tons of Homemade cards, ties made out of construction paper and the like. In fact I’m looking at one pinned on the wall by my desk right now. Those are all nice. But hearing someone call me “Daddy”. That’s all I really need.

To all the dudes holding it down, Happy Father’s Day.
To all the single mom’s playing the role of both mom and dad, Happy Father’s Day to you too.

Have a good weekend.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on June 15, 2007.

18 Responses to “Big Poppa….Homemade Cards…..”

  1. that’s not fair! you shouldn’t have to get the shaft b/c of some other joker! glad you got your homemade tie! šŸ™‚

  2. Mother’s Day tends to get all of the shine but it’s even more special to be a Daddy. A mother is a mother. There is never any doubt of your connection to the child. A father (unfortunately) doesn’t always have to be there. He can dip out if he chooses. So to the Father’s that do MAN UP and enjoy every minute of it…..I say Happy Father’s Day to you. You guys are the keepers of the Black race and if it’s going to turn around from the direction we are headed in now….it will be due to our men acting like men and being the Kings they are supposed to be. Happy Father’s Day to my internet BFF. Mrs. Fresh and Lil Freshalina are blessed.

  3. Happy Father’s day FRESH and to the MEN THAT MAN UP and support and take care of kids they didn’t have the pleasure of making.. A SPECIAL HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO YOU!!! Unfortunately I got 2 deadbeats.. one by nature the other by force from his enviornment.. he tries but for whatever reason he can seem to get it together.. its easy to ge tto the top but when you fall.. wow who will be there to pick you up!!! but I digress.. LOL You have a fantastic day and those cards are da bomb.. I like the tie outta paper doe!!! dats hot! šŸ™‚ you should wear it and take a photo LOL

  4. ^^^what they said!

    Awww, I felt so sad for u that u didn’t get ur paper mache/construction paper creation! šŸ˜¦ But then u bounced back! Yay!

    But anyway, Happy Father’s Day, homie!

  5. dag… Happy Father’s Day fresh…

  6. I am so loving this post. I applaud you and the other fathers holding it down like you are supposed to! Happy Fathers Day!

  7. Amen! I don’t like the terms baby momma/daddy

  8. Happy Father’s Day to the good fathers in this world.

  9. This time of year I just stay teary eyed because so many fine upstanding Brothers are showcased – at some point we just have to focus on you all – – HAPPY FATHERS DAY BROTHER! Enjoy!

  10. Man Fresh…luuuuuuuuv’d this post.

    I don’t know if you realize it, but you throw a lot of little comments about your daughter in your posts…whether it’s something she said to you…something she did that was funny…or like your last point (think it was your last) where you pointed out getting her ready for school, yet neglecting to do her hair…lol.

    It’s obvious that you are doing the damn thing…that you have manned up…and I admire that.

    Happy Father’s day to you kiddo!

  11. That’s a wack rule the school has…instead of penalizing the kids who have fathers and want to do something great for them they should tell the ones whose wack azz fathers arent around to do something for the men in their lives who are like fathers to them…grandfathers, uncles, cousins, brothers, neighbors, fireman, mailman…a father isnt always the man who donated his sperm…a father is any man who steps up and cares for a child and I think we fall short in adequately acknowledging then and giving children hope through the hearts of those who have unconsciously become surrogates! Taking Father’s Day away from children only ignores the problem…we gotta stop hiding from the issues yo!

    As for you Mr. Funky Fresh Dressed To Impress, Ready to Party!!! LOL!! I admire you and pray that more men will see you as an example and follow your lead. Caring for you children has many rewards…You are and will continue to be Blessed because of it! Happy Father’s Day not just for Sunday but for EVERYDAY!! Cause you deserve it!

  12. This is a great post! Kudos to all fathers who are doing what they’re supposed to be doing!! Hope you ALL HAVE A VERY HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!

    BTW, You’ve been officially added to my blogroll. šŸ˜€

  13. Fresh

    You are one of the best fathers I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Keep doing what you do. The real reward is watching your BabyGirl grow up to become a beautiful, well respected, young woman…under the guidance of her “daddy.” That, my friend, is what parenting is all about.

    Happy Father’s Day!


  14. what a great post! perfect in so many ways šŸ™‚

  15. Hey Big Poppa.

    Your daughter is priceless in having her father. As an adult woman having a father is priceless and I am different “kind” of woman because of my Daddy. Actually, have always been closer to my Daddy then my Mom. My Mom gets on my nerves. My Daddy is my twinsoul. I am him and he is me. I have talked to him three times today alone.

    I called my brother and wished him Happy Father’s Day. I think he needs to mature a bit more to become a better Father but he is there. I called my nephews mother and wished her a Happy Father’s Day, too. Regardless, she has had to do both at 19.

    Whoa! I am glad I don’t have any kids today…I am glad I am an Auntie, Sister, and Daughter today.

  16. uh…Father’s Day is over.

  17. Wow. I’m shocked. I guess I can see their point…to a degree. I wonder how that makes the kids whose fathers ARE there feel. I was one of those kids making cards for a father I didn’t know. Can’t say that I remembered it being a big deal for me…*shrug* I was at my brother’s this weekend and I had to stop and take it all in as I counted the houses on his street…and the numbers of fathers living there. How very cool that they balanced. You know you da man Fresh. I see many macaroni cards in your future.

  18. Beautiful. you made me cry. I’m gonna send a link to my husband. He’s on your team.

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