A Change Gonna Come….

Before I begin, let me give you a little background.

I was born by the river…..

Actually it was by the subway 🙂 Born and raised in Brooklyn, NYC. I went to high school in BK. (*ahem* the al-mighty Midwood High) and as usual in high school, you get your ‘clique’. I was accepted into all of the colleges I applied for. Some were local like Brooklyn College, and the like. Others were out of state. Ma dukes hit me with the proposition. Stay home for school – you’ll get a car. Go away for school – no car but you get out the house. End result: I packed up my sh*t and rolled out. Destination: Upstate NY.

My high school friends and childhood friends thought I was nuts. Pass on a whip for school? You must be noodles! Although some high school friends went away to school as well.

The difference between me and (some) of them…………..they came back to NYC. I haven’t “lived” there since I left for college (other than a brief consulting assignment stint for a year). Since then I’ve lived in Upstate NY (for school), Boston, a brief few months in Philly, VA and now Maryland.

End of background.

It’s been too hard living………

Beginning of story. 😉

A friend of mine tells me today that their close friend of 10+ years blindsided them and ended the friendship. Done. Kapootz. Just like that. Citing a bunch of bullshit reasons but if you translate it, they basically no longer had anything in common. Now, I’m not psychic. I’m not related to Miss Cleo (call me now!) but I saw that coming a mile away. They were going in two different directions. One bought their own house and raises their kid in the south. The other can barely keep an apartment with their 2 or 3 kids in NYC. They’ve both changed.

It’s been a long long time coming…..

When I knew I was approaching the end of my time in Boston, I considered moving back to NYC but I took a trip to MD and VA and changed my mind (and life). That was where I wanted to go. I wanted to try something new. So I told my NYC massive and that’s the day things changed for me. It was the day that I felt their hostility. (Not from all, only from some) It was as if I was coming off saying that I’m too good for NYC or I’m too good because I have a degree and good paying job. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling NYC. At the time I felt moving back to NYC would put me in the same rut as they were in. I wanted more. Childhood/HS friends couldn’t accept that and in some sense I think they took it as a personal attack on them and that I didn’t want to be around them (Hint: Grow up)

A Change Gonna Come …..

Expose said it best in their 1987 song (yes 1987, y’all getting old), Seasons Change. They said “Seasons Change….People Change….and People Change…Feelings Change)

I used to feel like an outcast whenever I would go back to NYC and attempt to hang with these people. I remember the word “bougie” coming out their mouth a few times during a conversation we had when I told them I was trying to buy a home. (Home ownership is bougie? Huh? Well make that a capital B for me stank you very much) . But then I realized. That’s them. This is me. They like the corner, pants sagging and having baby mamas (yes plural). They can have that. I’m not interested.

Have I changed? Hell yeah I’ve changed. The more you get exposed to, the more you will change. If you’re used to government cheese because that’s all you could afford and then someone gives you Velveeta and you can afford it, you’ll eat Velveeta and you won’t turn back. But if you peel back the layers, I’m still the same Blimpie-Lord’s Bakery-eating-Dr. Jays-Kings Plaza-shopping-B41-2 train-dolla van (FLATBUSH FLATBUSH…UUUU-TICA…UUUU-TICA) riding person I was when I lived there. I know so many people who go through this. Who have friends that switch up on them because they’re doing something that the friend is not and really it’s a reflection of that friend. That person. They’re jealous of what you have and what you have become. The thing is I’ve tried to help these people too. I’ve reached out my hand, given offers but they didn’t want to grab it. Now if I was a rapper, I bet you their ass would be all up in my video right?!?!

Real true friends are down for the ride no matter what car you’re driving but if they want to complain about radio not working, tell them to get the hell out.

Change is inevitable. How someone reacts to and accepts that change is a reflection of their character.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on April 2, 2007.

5 Responses to “A Change Gonna Come….”

  1. Amen Fresh. I came to Brooklyn when I was 4 and lived there until I was about 25. Then I started working and moving. I have lived in DC, Columbia Maryland, Harrisburg, Pa and now Philadelphia. Life is about living and experience.

    My friends are still my friends. The ones in Brooklyn are still there but they too are doing things with their lives. It’s all good.

    Some people want to hold you down, a real friend wants to help lift you up.

    and for the record….Brooklyn Tech was a FAR better high school and the UTICA dollar vans played the hottest reggae mixtapes. They were also the first to have the remote control doors on the vans…and the famous string that they used to pull the doors shut!

  2. Buck a shot one time for Mr. Fresh.. bruh you said it very well.. I have friends of mine who couldn’t believe the life I chose to live.. how you gone just pick up and move to MD.. you dont’ know anybody there.. SO.. I’ll survive.. I need a CHANGE.. my kids need a CHANGE.. I don’t wan to go to sleep and hear gunshots and wonder who got shot?? or worse.. wonder if it just ht my fire escape or did it come through da window..

    LMAO @ 1969 though.. lemme correct you on something.. ACTUALLY DA DOLLA VANS IN QUEENS DOWN MERRICK TO JAMAICA came up with the famous string and remote doors.. then passed it onto brooklyn!

  3. I’ve remained in BK and I like to think I’m doing a lil’ something. But I’ve watched my friends and family move about to suit their needs. (key words – their needs) I love it. It’s called growth. Annnnd it gives me somewhere else to visit! LOL. Can’t say I’ll be in BK much longer, but while I’m here, I’m lovin’ it.

    1969…Ur makin’ me sleepy with that Brooklyn Tech stuff! But Utica did revolutionize the dollar cab run! LOL. The string could take some skin off!

  4. @ All of y’all – Memories with the dolla vans and the strings. LAWWDD. Memories.

    Ms. Lee – you’re right. It’s all about a person’s needs. If I felt the need to move back to NYC, I would have done it. It’s about where you are and where you want to be in your life.

    Most of my HS friends are doing something. It’s the childhood friends that are the slackers!!!

  5. I feel ya. What I don’t get about this whole situation is, how you want me to respect YOUR but you call me ‘bougie’ when I make choices for myself. The way I figure it is, aAs long as you’re happy & your life is working for you, them I’m happy for you.

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