Damn, can’t even watch porn no more…

I’m sure you’ve heard the story by now (so what I’m a little late)

So this dude is in his apartment, chilling, watching some porn. He’s turned the volume up a little bit. You know, trying to hear the screams and enjoy his damn movie.

Mr. Neighbor man hears these screams, breaks into the dude’s apartment with a fuckin sword and starts yelling shit like “where is she?”, “where’s the girl?”

Mr. Neighbor-Sword-Man thinks dude was killing, raping, hurting, Ike Turner-ing some girl in his apartment. So he figured he’d come to the girl’s rescue. Problem is, there was no girl. Dude was in his house watching porn.

I’m all for neighborhood watch and shit cause I’m a nosy ass neighbor at times myself, but I’ll be damn if my neighbor bust through my door with a 39 inch sword while I’m trying to watch a good ass flick. Whatever happened to a knock? Hello Fresh, are you in there?!?! Is everything ok? What if it was a real girl and we getting down and she likes to scream?Huh? Some of you out there don’t have the ‘shhh we inside voice’ so what am I supposed to do? Not get none?!?!? On the flipside, what movie was this dude watching (you know white women in porn scream at the top of their damn lungs) and what volume setting did he have it on?

People are making a bigger deal about dude watching porn than they are about dude with the sword. Something is twisted about that…….

I gotta go buy me a set of headphones now to watch my movies. That’s some bullshit…..

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on February 23, 2007.

10 Responses to “Damn, can’t even watch porn no more…”

  1. LMAOOOOOO I really would like to know what he was watching.

  2. Ha ha haaa! I had NOT heard this story!
    LOL @ not having the “shh we inside voice”.
    I feel bad for the dude that was watching the movie. All his business in on blast now. Can’t deny that he’s a porn watcher! 🙂

  3. ROFLMBAO I saw this news story. That’s crazy. I mean, whatchu doing with a dayum sword anyway? Retired ninja? LMAO Dude must’ve had the sound up like movie-theatre loud.

  4. I mean I am a whisper-volume type of porn watcher. Walls nowadays are paper fucking thin. But hey, you can’t be busting up in a man’s house with a SWORD! Now, if old Dude and his SWORD was met with a 12 Gauge that would have been wrong, eh?

    Hey, if i was porn watcher, I would endorse the sound system now! Captalize, Dude! Captalize!

  5. That neighbor is a complete assclown. What normal person owns a SWORD? Are you kidding me here?

    Jeez louise.

    Let people enjoy their porn in PEACE.

  6. Dang! That’s messed up. Well we learned from poor old “Pee Wee Herman” that we cannot watch porn in the privacy of a theatre and now we cannot watch porn at home because of the teen-age mutant turtle that lives next door. I think people are taking things way out of proportion in this society. We have to admit that sex exists, kids scream and yell behind wall just to do it, people have flat screen wall mounted televisions with surround sound and satellites orbiting around there whole house. I think we have to say a decent knock at the door is kosher. My thing is even the cops knock at the door, so why not the karate kid, huh? Come on society privacy is necessary…..knock please!

  7. @Tired – I know right. I wish they would tell me. They holdin’ out valuable info

    @TDJ – You know he was denying that whole porn watching thing 🙂

    @MsJayy – Retired ninja??!?!? LMAOOOO…that’s some funny shit right there.

    @Divine – The walls nowadays are ridiculous!!!!! I remember back in college…yeah..I won’t go there..

    @Mistress – A SWORD. 39 fuckin inches of metal. Dude has issues.

    @Somesweetsunshine – Teen-age mutant turtle..HHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA You got jokes.

  8. Now if that aint some of the craziest ish I’ve ever heard in my life. LOL Sword dude should be thrown in the fuggin loony bin with the rest of his ninja friends. And porno dude needs a better padlock on his door. Ha!

  9. Son I ain’t here this but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN can he beat off in the comfort of his own home??? gawd.. damn what was he watching?

  10. I wanna know what the hell he was watching? I need a copy of that!

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