Is it that bad?!?!?!

I was chatting with a friend this morning and she mentioned that she’s about 95% sure, she’s packing up her shit and leaving the area headed south.

Now I, being the ex-nomad that I am (I’ve lived in my share of cities – NYC, Upstate NY, Boston, Philly, etc before settling in MD) always encourage people to roll out and try something new ESPECIALLY if it’s leaving home. I left NYC years ago and haven’t looked back since.

But as I’m digging into her motives for leaving, it’s all coming back to one thing. Men.

This is where I completely became confused of course being the man I am.

I mean, is finding a man really that hard….(wait…don’t answer that..I read some of y’all blogs). What I meant to say it is it so hard to find a man that you will uproot your family (basically her child) to move to a new area in HOPES that you will find someone there? That just seems odd to me.

Sure in this area (DC/MD/VA) the ratio surely favors the dudes. It’s something crazy like 10:1. 10 ladies for every dude (I don’t remember having 10 women on my tip?!?!? ) but its probably higher under some circumstances and depending on a woman’s “requirements”. When you add it all up, maybe women have a better chance of winning Powerball. Who knows?!?!

Is moving to another area to pursue your dream of romance, love and happiness the same as pursuing your dream to advance in your career or raise your kids in a better area? To me, it doesn’t hold the same amount of weight, then again, I’m a man.

So I’m asking her…what happened to such-and-such, or dude with the Benz or whatever and she proceeded to tell me reasons why they no longer exist in her world. Sure some wanted to “share” and she wanted to be exclusive but when a guy doesn’t meet 10 of your 50 requirements (yes she has a list that long), is it necessary to rollout to another state? Maybe you need to alter your list! (Sorry people, those who know me, know that I give straight up brut in your face advice)

You’re only going to find a man/woman/mate whatever when you are ready for it. You can’t force things like that. That’s the square peg, round hole tactic. You can’t be like I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Atlanta or wherever to find a man and I’ll be married within a year. Are you nuts? (that’s not what she said but it was damn near close)

If she told me she’s moving for any other reason I don’t think I’d have as much of an issue with it. Even if she told me she was moving to another area to be with a dude she met, I’m okay with that but for some reason, her reason just struck a chord with me.



~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on January 22, 2007.

10 Responses to “Is it that bad?!?!?!”

  1. I think the whole “finding a man” thing is crazy period. Work on yourself. Live your life. Enjoy your time. When a man is meant to find you, it will happen. Moving to find a man is crazy unless you really live in Alaska or somewhere remote where there are no men. (Yes, I know there are men in Alaska, but you know what I mean).

  2. I totally agree with 1969. It is crazy to move to an area just to find a man. I hope ATL is not where she is going. From what I heard she will be in worse shape there.

  3. I moved to Atlanta for a man….it was a long distance thang. Of course, it DID not work out and I moved back. I think some of us women have to alter our list and understand we can be selfish when we are completely single. I think your girl is saddly mistaken to uproot her child for the hope of finding a man in Gaylanta. Yeah, I said it…Gaylanta.

    If anything, I would suggest she start a long distance relationship then move….but not the other way around. Regardless, I didn’t have to worry about a support system for my child…because it was just me. I think she needs to slow down but hey sounds like she made up her mind already!

  4. Man listen.. WTF.. she is STRAIGHT TRIPPING.. she won’t ever find a man cause every man she see/meet must meet requirements etc.. da fawk.. if she ain’t happy within herself ain’t no real man gone holla at her.. I don’t care HOW MANY requirements she got.. sounds like ya girl got mad issues and if she moving to ATL tell her to look for a woman.. she is more likely to find a girl than a straight man!

  5. Moving just to find a man is absurd! I mean I think every woman has a list of things that are non-negotiables when it comes to men but mine doesn’t have 50 fucking things on it! What the hell…

  6. Well said ladies! 1969 hit the nail on the head – work on yourself. And yes, a “list” of 50 is ridiculous. There are deal breakers, but it’s not like picking a car off a showroom lot. And yep, making to ATL, she’d better have well tuned “Gaydar”. *lol*

  7. Moving to a new area just to find a man is completely crazy. Usually when people go to such extremes, they don’t get what they’ve set out to find. And that list…50 things?? Damn, she better be prepared for a lot of lonely nights trying to find someone that fits all those requirements.

  8. LOL @ ya’ll

    God said, when you pray, BE SPECIFIC. She’s just trying to make sure the man above gets it right. LOL

    Moving for a man that isn’t my husband or soon-to-be husband is ridiculous to me, so the idea of moving to find a figment of my imagination (and uprooting my child) is preposterous! She needs a five finger reality slap. Geez!

  9. I agree with 1969 as well, I would not want to move to another state to meet a man I do not even know exists. I would much rather work on myself then work on a fantasy. I guess all humans can be guilty of the thing we expect from dating prospects. I meet a man who wanted me to have pretty feet, manicures, a body like Lisa Raye, etc. He asked me how my feet looked and I told him my feet looked like I walk on them. I think if a man is meant for a specific woman, it will happen naturally and all of a sudden, but graciously.

  10. To everyone who replied – I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t me. And for the record, I’ve called her out on many occasions with those 50 requirements!!! Hell, she’ll be lucky if she finds 10.

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