Fakin’ the funk.

I can’t stand when people go at things half ass.

I’m not saying that you should go hard, give 110% everytime because I think that’s impossible. Hell you’ll probably burn out. You’re going to have some down time but doing something and consistently only giving 50% (especially when others are involved) to me is outright selfish. Plain and simple.

So it trips me out….okay, pisses me off…when I know that someone is half-assin’ it. I can feel it. It’s like I got sensors or something (I told you I study people sometimes). I mean I may know what the person is capable of and then I see what they produce and I’m like…”that’s it”….”WTF is this?!?!?!”

Usually I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt the first time, maybe even the first two times. Maybe they’re not feeling well, going through something, whatever. But that usually sets off the ‘half-asser’ alert in me. So now I’m on the lookout for it the next time. You got to have a couple of successes before I remove the alert!!!!

I don’t like dealing with them but sometimes I’m forced damnit, especially at work. Now let me say this, I’m a half-asser at times too but I’ll eventually recover and return back to normal. 🙂

So here’s the task…

Fresh, we’ve got a potential client we need to meet with. This is a good opportunity for this quarter. (Translation: Don’t fuck this up). I’m assigning you and BeigeBoy. This is a competitive situation similar to the last one you did Fresh so make sure you familarize yourself with how we stack up. BeigeBoy says I’ll customize the presentation, you handle the demonstration since you’ve done one of these before. Fresh thinks that’s cool.

Now I’ve worked with dude before and he’s a certified half-asser but since I’m handling the bulk of the meeting, I don’t have to worry. NEGATIVE.


So he emails me the presentation at like 3am. I’m sleeping obviously so I don’t get it until the morning. I download and head to the meeting. We get to the meeting and he’s telling me he was up late working on the presentation. We get everything set up and it starts. We start the presentation……and during it, something looks funny on the first slide but I can’t place my finger on it. But when he tells me to flip to the second slide, it’s evident. The customer is looking at it funny. I’m frowning. BeigeBoy acts like nothing is wrong.

No lie, 90 seconds later, he’s finished with his part. Did you not see the agenda? It said 9:30-10:00am – BeigeBoy Presents. It’s 9:31 and 30 seconds and he’s passing the baton to me. Huh? What I miss?

So I do my thing, the meeting ends and as I walking out with dude, I ask what happened. You stayed up all late for 90 second 4 slide presentation!?!?!? He seriously acted like nothing was wrong. I didn’t even bother to go there.

You wanna know what he changed? The DAMN FONT. That’s it. That’s all. He took our traditional corporate presentation and changed the damn font. He stayed up all night to change the mudda fuggin’ FONT. So everything was all FUGGED up on the slide. The columns were off. Words were on top of each other. It was embarrasing. I’m not really a perfectionist either but damn, it just looked sloppy. I’m not a tattle-tell, a snitch, whatever but when I got to the office, I went to my VP immediately.

So Fresh, how did the meeting go?

Fresh: Go ask BeigeBoy and by the way, teach him how to use Powerpoint.

Hey BeigeBoy…this song is for you.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on January 17, 2007.

10 Responses to “Fakin’ the funk.”

  1. That sounds like the mess I go through with my boss on a daily basis. He’s the one half-assing stuff, having me fix it, then taking the credit and getting promoted. And when I snitch, I get looked at with a crazy side-eye, so it does me no good. Needless to say, I’m searching for a new job!

    BTW, new reader…loving your blog.

  2. *lol* I’m mad you pulled out the Main Source clip! Ya know I loves the Old Skool Rap.

    Yep, BeigeBoy needs to popped upside his damn head. I’m happy that you let it be known as soon as you got back to the office. Don’t know how important your part was, but I hope ya’ll get the client.

  3. At Tech….we would have beat Beigeboy’s azz.

  4. Hey Tasha – Welcome. Stay a while. Make yourself comfortable!!!!!

    Hey TDJ – Main Source was the sh!!!!!!!

    Hey 1969- Tech did have a bunch of rugged peoples!!!!!

  5. LMAO @ 1969.. Tech was the school for all the SMART THUGS.. LOL

    but err see Beige Boy woulda got his arse WHOOPED.. and by the way.. as the lead.. you shoulda told him to have his presentation to you way before 3am the same damn day!!! WTF

    Ihope ya’ll get the client and it don’t fall back on you being unprepared.. while Beigeboy was responsible for the powerpoint.. I’m sure they are looking at you *with a higher standard* and wondering why you didnt proof it first..

    It’s the corporate snowball my man LOL

  6. A smart thug can be dangerous. Hell, look at George Bush.

  7. Beigy needs a reality check. I wonder if he did it on purpose since you were the lead. Hell naww, he made himself, you and the corporation look bad. If all you were gonna do is change the font then at least make it perfect.

    What did he tell the VP?

  8. You are better than me, because I would snitch on his lazy ass. The stop snitching campaign does not extend to white folk.

  9. Ugh. How I’d love to say I’d never been there. You shoulda beatp his beige arse black/blue. He’ll probably make CEO by next week. Don’t mind me – recent events make me a bit cynical when it comes to Corp. America.

  10. @Tired – Welcome back!!!!! He told the VP the meeting went well, which it did, but he just skipped the part about his lackluster performance. I’m just glad I got to the VP first. He knows I don’t complain, so when I do, it’s legit.

    @Beauty – LMAO…I should go make up a “I’m snitching on all y’all bastards” shirt

    @MsJayy – I feel you. Corp America is wack!

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