Dude, she’s hot…

Seeing that I work in an environment where attractive eye candy is a rarity, it only makes sense that when one comes along that is above the norm, she gets the attention. Case in point……

We’ve got one in our spot now (well she’s been here for sometime) and guys go crazy over her. Let me say this: She’s not my type. Whatcha mean Fresh? I mean she’s of the different persuasion (if you know what I mean) but I will tell you, for one of them, she’s got it going on. She’s got style, she knows how to hook up an outfit, her shoe and purse game is on point (yes, Fresh checks you out COMPLETELY– it doesn’t matter WHO you are.), seem well maintained.

For the sake of this post, let’s call said person…ummm…Brittany. 😉

Since I work with a bunch of white dudes, most of which are younger than me by a few years, they basically are star struck when they see her. They get quiet. Their body language is all nervous and uncomfortable and the minute she leaves the vicinity, I hear “DUDE, SHE’S HOT….”

The thing is, she knows she’s hot. Her walk is mean. It’s the “I know my shit don’t stink” type of walk. It’s a semi-model catwalk type of walk. Now Brittany doesn’t have the bangin’ body but she has some hips. Not black girl hips or as Fantasia’s ghetto ass says “baby makin’ hips” but she’s got more than average for someone of her persuasion. Her ass backside is still semi-flat though.

You know what? For some reason, I’m sugar coating this entry….Fuck that.

Anyway, Brittany’s hips makes her ass seem like it exists. You know how some people suffer from the disease noassatall? Couple her ass-tributes with her love for Seven jeans and it makes it somewhat of a sight. Enough to make brothers take a peek but then when one of the sisters in Brittany’s department walks by, it dispells any inkling of fantasy. It’s like comparing a whale to a goldfish.


Well, look. When a lot of guys sweat you and you know this, eventually your shit will stink. I don’t sweat you because everyone else does. You have to earn MY right to have me on your bra strap. So, I get in the elevator with Brittany a few weeks ago during one of those days it was brick ass cold out. Now ladies, I’m not trying to pick you up in the elevator at work but if it’s just me and you, I’m gonna try and be courteous.
Fresh: Damn, someone must’ve turned off the heat. It’s cold as hell outside

Brittany: Hmph… (under her breath)

Nothing else is said. I’m like, did she just “hmph” me? Did she not say anything? Ok, cool. Might’ve been a rough day right?

Today – similar situation. Me and her in the elevator – no one else

Fresh: Good morning, how are you doing?

Brittany: Hmph.

Okay, newsflash bee-atch!!!! I don’t know what the rest of the guys did to you but if I ask your pale ass a question, at least give me a response better than Hmph!!! That’s some rude bullshit right there and I’ll be damn if I say another damn word to you AT ALL. Fuck outta here with that bullshit. Hmph. Even if she gave me a negative attitude forced out her mouth “good morning” – that would’ve been suffice. But Hmph? Hmph sounds like she mad at me cause I stood her up on a date or I fucked with one of her girlfriends and ain’t call them back and now she know I ain’t shit. That’s when you give the Hmph. Listen up Brittany, I could care less about your flat ass. I’d much rather holla at one of the ghetto ass admins with the whale booties. SISTAS FOREVER!!!!


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on January 8, 2007.

10 Responses to “Dude, she’s hot…”

  1. ok I’m mad you said GHETTO ASS ADMINS.. *all of em ain’t ghetto* give da ADMINS RESPECT.. LMAO @ Brittany.. my new response is HMPH hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  2. Nah, you don’t understand. Some (not all) of the admins are g-het-to. The other admins – they tight!!!

  3. Dude that is it, you need to be committed. Should I buy you a straight jacket for your b’day. LMAOOOOOOO

  4. Dayum it….lost my first comment…

    Brittany=A beige fucking loser
    Ghetto Ass Admin=Whale ass losers

    Same shit….different paint job.


  5. Gawd what a twatrag! Ick I hate bitches like that.

    ROFL @ “It’s like comparing a whale to a goldfish.”


    Oh and I am LOVING the new site.

    Blogger sucks fucking ass and I’m glad more people are ditching that shit.

  6. @Tired – I got a straight jacket for Xmas! Nah, just playing.

    @Divine- Beige fucking loser?!?!? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    @Mistress – Bogger does suck. I was just trying to read BK’s site and I got internal error messages. Glad you like the new site.

  7. noassatall…..that diease is incurable. LOL

  8. Wow a admin is insulted..:(

  9. Wow a admin is insulted..:(

  10. Wow a admin is insulted..:(

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