Why Not Now?!?!?!?!

I can almost guarantee that right about now, there are A LOT of people out there making their New Year’s Resolutions. Every body and their mother is trying to figure out what they’re going to do next year. Some where people are saying…..

“Next year I’ma get a new car”

“Next year, I’ma get an apartment or buy a house”

“Next year, I’ma start paying child support”

“Next year, I’ma lose weight”

“Next year, I’ma fuck mad bee-atches” (Can you believe I heard someone say this before?)

But let’s be real. How many people are actually going to do what they say? How many people actually still go hard at their resolutions in May? September? Please. Some of you are some lazy ass fuggers. You know it. Resolutions fizzle by the time March rolls around. I don’t have any numbers to back up my theory but I’d say at least 10% of the people who make resolutions actually KEEP them. 90% of the people don’t do squat. Hell, I was a 90 percenter for a while. I can admit it. You know why? A couple of reasons. So I’m going to give you an introspective look at how I didn’t keep my resolutions.

First my goals were too damn vague. “I’ma lose weight”. Shhhhiiiiiiittttttt…….1 pound is weight. 3 ounces is weight. I lose that after I dump (I know…TMI). You gotta get as specific as you can. I want to drop 25 lbs or I want to get into that size X or squeeze into those Seven jeans so dudes can stare at my butt, whatever. You gotta have some motivation or else it wouldn’t be a resolution, so work that into your goal. AND Set a time goal. When do you want to lose the weight by? How are you going to get there? Maybe you and your crew are going to the Essence Festival and you don’t want to be the only one the guys don’t talk to. That’s motivation. Or maybe your doctor told you that you need to change your lifestyle because your blood pressure is too high. Hell, if that isn’t motivation, I don’t know what is. Point is, find something that will cause you to get off your ass and do whatever it is you said you were going to do.

Set mini-goals. Have a goal within a goal. Back to the weight example for a minute. So now you’ve gotten a little more specific with your goals and you said you’re going to lose 50 lbs next year. Now break it down even further to monthly goals, weekly goals, daily goals. 50/12 is a little over 4 lbs a month. That’s 1 lb a week. Lay off the chips and cake and do some exercise. You’ll feel better about yourself after you’ve reached these mini-goals AND the best thing about it is it will keep you on track for the big goal.

Eliminate all naysayers. If you don’t believe it, no one else will. This is where you’ll find out what friends are friends and what friends are associates. Hell, the ones you need to watch out for the most is family. You’ll tell them….hey cousin pookie, I’m gonna lose 50 lbs…and he’ll say “what the hell you wanna do that for?” or “you can’t do that…it’s impossible…” or you’ll have that boyfriend that says if you lose weight, they’ll break up with you. What the fugg is that about? You tryin’ to get healthy and they tryin’ to end a relationship. I say…FUGG’EM ALL. You should have a resolution to remove those bastards from your life.

Set rewards and punishments. I never held myself accountable for what I did and did not do that’s why I let it slide when I didn’t do anything. Get it? So if I achieve a monthly goal, I reward myself. If I don’t, I punish myself. Kind of harsh but it works. What’s even better is if someone else can reward you. Like say wifey comes to you and says she’s trying to lose 10 lbs next month, then you say, if you do, I’ll buy you something from ___________(insert the wifey’s favorite store). Now if she doesn’t do it, take something away. “You only lost 1 lb…damnit…no head for you!” Trust me, it works.

Procrastination. The single most important reason why I didn’t reach my goals. Procrastination. That shit is a disease that spreads. Once you procrastinate doing one thing, you’ll procrastinate with another and so forth and so on. It’s a proven theory. “I’m gonna start working out tomorrow” but that doesn’t happen and you push it off to the next day and then that doesn’t happen and it continues. Next thing you know, it’s September and you haven’t done shit. So to that I say, WHY NOT NOW?!?!?!? Start doing your resolutions now. Get up off your ass!

I’m still working on mine for 2007 and I’ll post them when I’m finished so you guys can hold me accountable.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on December 29, 2006.

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