Daddy Day

Today must’ve been Daddy day because that seemed like the central theme in which the day revolved around.

It started in the morning….a phone call to wifey who’s friend just delivered on Friday. Apparently, the child’s father (I REALLY hate the term “baby daddy”) informed the mother that he’ll be there for the child but he is not interested in her. I could live with that…I guess….except for one, he wasn’t really there for her during the pregnancy and he damn near denied ‘fathering’ the child to his boys and newfound girlfriend and for two, he asked her how much she needs for the baby. Huh? I mean damn….the child was just born. So we’ll see what happens. Oh by the way, he breaks the ‘I don’t want to be with you’ news to her while she’s still in the hospital. Now that my friend is a punk ass move…….

Daddy day continued with an article in today’s Washington Post. The Post has been running a series this year called “Being a Black Man” and the articles have been pretty good. It’s talked about the various aspects of just that…being a black man…from finding jobs, establishing careers to misconceptions, etc. Today’s selection was called Dad, Refined. Click the link to read the article in full. It focuses on a brother man, 27, who is 4 months into fatherhood and now realizes that he has to get his life together and move out from his mother and basically be a man. Good stuff right? The article though, dropped some BOMBSHELL statistics on me. All of which I think I knew, I just didn’t accept. For example:

  • Nearly half of black children born live with their mother. (this is as of 2002 and I’m sure it’s increased)
  • 69% – the percentage of births to unmarried black non-hispanic black women in 2005
  • The District has 35,355 child support cases. 90% of which are in arrears. This amounts to over $300 million owed.

The reporter asked about marriage. “Nah man, it wasn’t really discussed” was his reply. The mother, 19, has girlfriends who have kids and are not married. Really, this is a reality. During a recent night out with the fellas, one revealed he was going to be a daddy. “Good sh*t” was the reply. Another revealed he was ready to pop the question. “What the hell is wrong with you?” was the reply. Crazy.

If there is one thing that I despise, it’s when a man doesn’t take care of his child. If there is one thing that I despise more, it’s when the man makes excuses for nothing taking care of his child. Fellas, you need to grow the f*ck up.

The article tried to touch on different points on why it’s so hard for black men. Incarceration, lack of jobs, etc. Are those just excuses or is it true that once the government began instituting grants and welfare, it replaced the black man? Bullshit. A grant can’t give your child love. If you’re man enough to lay down with her, you need to be man enough to change diapers. There are guilty parties all over the place. The man who punks out. The woman who keeps the child hostage because the man punked out on her. The man who makes excuses. The woman who makes excuses. The friends who give you bullshit advice. Everyone. Sure some things are warranted. You and the man try. It doesn’t work but you’re still there for the kids. That’s the most important thing. We could on for days on this topic……

Daddy Day installment #3: The Pursuit of Happyness…..

Great movie, in my opinion. Some people just do what the hell they gotta do for their kids and themselves. I knew of Chris Gardner from articles I’ve read but I never knew his story. The movie made me count my blessings and kiss the kid. Something I do every day. Will Smith is the man. Hands down. I respect dude’s work and what he’s about. Wow, Mr. Parents Just Don’t Understand has got gray hairs….(I’m getting old)

So for all the daddies, fathers, papas, pop-pop’s, whatever they call you. Respect Due. And to all the single mom’s out there acting as daddies, I have so much respect and love for you, it’s ridiculous. Stay strong.


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on December 17, 2006.

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