Yeah right dude…..

I had a little extra time this morning so when I stopped at my normal spot to get breakfast, I decided to eat there. Grab a paper and enjoy my omelette and home fries.

While eating my breakfast, I get joined (not at my seat) but in my section by some other guys, mostly black and Hispanic males. 2 of the black guys were African, 1 seemed Haitian. I could tell by the accent.

It’s 8am and their conversation is about……SEX. (I mean what else do you want a group of men to talk about…POLITICS?!?!?!)

I really wasn’t paying attention to their conversation until one of the African dudes started doing a bulk of the talking…..

“Man, one time I was fucking this bitch and this bitch couldn’t take my dick but I made that bitch suck my shit. Fucking bitch. I fucked the shit out that bitch that whole fucking night and told that bitch don’t call me no more”

Huh? What? He continues…

“I went over this bitch house and this bitch ain’t wanna give me no pussy. I’m like fuck you bitch. I ain’t come over here to watch tv bitch. So when she finally gave in, I fucked that bitch like crazy. I even put my whole fist in that bitch”

Here’s the other one….

One guy in the group says some girl he’s messing with hasn’t had an orgasm. So naturally I expected Mr. Fuck-this-Bitch to have a response and he did….

“Shit, fuck that bitch. Tell that bitch to call me. I’ll give that bitch an orgasm. I’ll fuck that bitch till that bitch cum and then I’ll make that bitch get out. Get out bitch”

The whole time I’m listening to this I’m thinking this guy only knows two words. “fuck” “bitch”. It seriously got to the point where it was irritating, I looked up from my paper and he sees me looking at him. He’s laughing, and in the middle of another one of his stories and reaches out to me to give me “a pound”, “five” as if I would agree with him. I looked at his hand and went back to reading my paper.

Was he really saying this to women? Were they really accepting what he said?

I don’t know what type of women he “fucked with” but if I told any woman (good punani or not) to “get the fuck out bitch” or “fuck you bitch”, she would act like Angela Bassett and set my clothes on fire! Sisters would be all up in my face “who you callin‘ a bitch?!?!“, looking for vaseline to put on their face. I mean, they would be ready to fight a dude. Not to mention every woman I know would probably take turns to slap this spit out of me.

Really though, I’m sure that little dick punk bastard gets no pussy. (Sorry I couldn’t resist). It’s always the ones that claim to tear up the pussy that haven’t seen pussy since they were born. So he’s probably just talking like that to entertain his boys, who incidentally, were getting a kick out of it. (There was another part of the convo where he was telling another dude how to step his “game” up – now THAT was funny)

I’m not making myself out to be some angel because I’m sure me and my boys have crossed a line or two speaking of our sexual escapades but I know for sure, it was no way on the same level as this dude. Some dudes just have no respect.

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on December 14, 2006.

5 Responses to “Yeah right dude…..”

  1. I mean really that all sounded like a dog and mistrel show. Why would be surrounded that early in the morning with a bunch of hard legs, if he had it LIKE that!?!

    Maybe it was a language thing or he watched a bit to much BET.

    It was all junk!

  2. What a fucking liar. He knows damn well that shit never happened.

    I laugh at the THOUGHT of some guy calling me a bitch like that. Ha. Please. Never in a million years.

    What a masochist though. Yuck.

    LMAO @ “I even put my whole fist in that bitch”

    EWWWWWW…SO GROSS!

  3. @divine – who knows what he watched with all the trash talk?

    @mistress – Like I said, he’s probably the most no-gettingest-dude around.

  4. Funky fresh…dude has a dick as big as my pinky, and hasn’t had any in ages. It’s always the ones that talk like that are so wack. The girl (if he did get any) probably wrote her shopping list while he was ‘doing his thing’.
    I swore I wrote a term paper once, while my ex swore he was getting his groove on. LMAOOOOOOO

  5. @tired – Hold up. Did you say you wrote a term paper in your head while your ex was sticking it?!?!?!? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….LMAOOOOOOOO

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