Speak the truth…to the young black youth…..

During Thanksgiving dinner, I had a family member ask me to help him go shopping. Cool…OK…I have no problem with that. So I ask, what are you looking for? What do you want to buy? I’m thinking he’s gonna say something like ‘I need some work clothes‘ or ‘I’m ready to stop wearing clothes 3x my size’ .

Negative.

He tells me he wants to be fly. I ask him what his definition of ‘fly’ means.

He says he needs some Prada or Gucci sneakers, True Religion jeans, Purple label blah blah blah. I tuned him out once he got to the jeans and then tuned back in when he mentioned a watch with a diamond bezel. While he’s saying this, in my head I’m thinking chi-ching, $$$$. I’m adding all of his requests up. I’m like damn, he’s gonna spend some loot. I hope he’s got this saved up or something. My assumption though is that he has the money but I need to find out. So I don’t ask him directly with one of those – you know this is gonna cost you right? – type questions because I hate when people ask me shit like that. So I have to think of strategic way to phrase it.

So when you wanna go? I dunno. Sometime in the next few months. Hmm…not the answer I’m looking for.

I try again….

You really like those Prada joints? Yeah why you don’t? Nah, they cool but for $400, I’m saying – you could cop like a pair of 1’s and your jeans. $400?!?!?! Damn. They cost $400.

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!

Just the reaction I was looking for.

I won’t, don’t and try my best NOT to pass judgement on people but like most families, people talk, especially black families. Families gossip more than high schoolers and it was known through the fam, that this person had lost their job(got fired for being late too many times) and was recently kicked out of their parent’s house for basically acting the fool. So he’s shacking up at another family member’s house living for “free”.

**side bar** Said person has just entered numerical adulthood. NOTICE I said numerical. The maturity level is trailing by a few years **end side bar**

Now I could’ve put dude on blast right in front of the fam but I was enjoying my sweet potato pie and figured it would be best to pull him to the side later and just ask what’s going on. The crazy thing is while I’m eating (okay, I went back for a 2nd piece), I hear another cousin supporting his situation. “Shit you ain’t paying rent. I’d buy what you can now”

WHAT?!?!? NO…NO…….

I couldn’t believe my ears. Is she f*ckin’ serious?

I don’t want to call out all family members in this blog but let’s just say some people have no right to talk. At some point, you have to move out of your mother’s house. I’ll leave it at that.

When I finally got dude alone, I explained to him that I knew about his situation and that I wasn’t going to take him shopping because there a lot better things he could do with his money other LIKE get his own apartment. I wasn’t trying to put him down. I mean, I was once that age and naive too. In a different way though. I’m sure, rather I know, I made poor money decisions but most of his decisions are just BAD. It’s almost like he’s tainted. Like he took the wrong pill. Damn Neo. Damn.

It’s funny. It’s like I had to step outside myself for a second and think of a way to get him to listen. I’m like imagine what you can do with your own spot. You set your own rules. You can walk around your house butt naked. You can import/export booty at your leisure. You’re too old for that now-my mom-is-sleep-let’s-fuck-but-be-quiet- sex. I know I went nuts (no pun intended) when I got my own place. It was freedom. I did things on my time. Ahhh, I think I reached him on that one.

Some of the blame falls in his lap. At some point, you gotta become a man. Man up duke. Man the fuck up. When I left for college my mother told me that was it. Unless I hit hard times, I wasn’t moving back in with her. You gotta face the world somedaySometimes the best love is tough love. Some of the blame falls on external sources like hip hop. If these wack ass artists would stop bragging out shit they don’t even own, maybe he wouldn’t think like that.

Who knows if I really got through to him. Only time will tell.

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 28, 2006.

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