Constitutional Right FulFilled

After standing in line for over 2 hours, I finally fulfilled my constitutional right to vote. It’s not my first time. I’m a habitual voter. I vote in primaries. Not a brag tactic but just the truth. It seems like the older I got, the more “political aware” I’ve become. I make sure I understand the issues and vote for who I feel will best represent me.

But I can’t front, standing on line exactly 2 hours and 10 minutes to push a couple of buttons is a lot to ask of anyone ESPECIALLY a building full of black people. You know us right? We get impatient quick. REAL QUICK

Here’s some comments I heard:

“I mean damn, what the hell is taking them so long. Just push the buttons and move on”

“Aww hell nah I’m not waiting in this line. It ain’t even worth it” I personally want to plant a foot up everyone’s ass who says this.

“You ain’t know that girl in the commercial was Michael Steele’s sister? She was the one married to Mike Tyson”

“Who the hell is Michael Steele?”

“Girrrrrl, yes, Girl, yes. I knew it. You know how you just ‘feel’ something ain’t right. So I check the cell phone bill and her number is all over it. N*gga talkin’ ’bout is wasn’t him. N*ggas are stupid.”

***Okay I know, that had NOTHING to do with voting but it was an interesting conversation nevertheless.****

In the polling place, there were signs everywhere. Nice and big. PLEASE POWER OFF YOUR CELL PHONES

You would’ve thought Bush was sending people to Iraq with that request….

“Umm excuse sir, I can’t turn my cell phone off. People are work need me”

“They must be crazy thinking I’m going turn my phone off. I need my phone”

“Excuse me miss, can you turn your phone off?”
“No, this is important”
“Well then can you take it outside?
“And lose my place in line, nah”
“Miss you can’t talk on the phone in here”
“Who is you (exact words). Look this is important” Man leaves to find someone to escort her out the building. Two seconds later. “Guuuurllll, like I said blah blah blah” (I’m thinking it’s important cause it’s someone at her job or something. Nah, she’s talking to her girlfriend!) 2 minutes later, the man returns…points on the cell phone girl….someone, I don’t know if he was security or what…walks right towards her…”Gurl I gotta call you back. You gonna get me kicked out of the polling place”……

When we finally got up to the booth to vote, it was almost like people were learning to walk all over again. Some people took 30 minutes at the station. Others 5 minutes. Some people read word for word. Others skimmed. There were not enough polling machines in that place. Conspiracy theory if you ask me.

So as I’m standing in line, I get to thinking….hmmmm…what if I ran for office?

Are you a voter?

Do you vote for candidates who represent you? Who share the same views as you?

Hi, I’m Mr. Fresh and I believe that you need to vote for who’s right, not who’s wrong. I’m Mr. Right. With my background, I do things that most politicians don’t do. I make sense. No issue is too big. No issue is too small. I take a stand on all policies. Check it out:

Troops in Iraq – I say F*ck them Iraqi’s. Bring the troops home. Build your own f*cking roads. What? Huh? Oh, we destroyed your infrastructure. Nah n*gga that wasn’t me. That was George Dub. I’m not responsible for that shit.

Saddam Hussein – Don’t give him the death penalty. Torture that dude. Put him in a chamber and hang him by his testicles (6 months on the left, 6 months on the right) and let his ass listen to Fergie’s CD while trying to f*ck NY from Flavor of Love. Torture.

Gay Marriage – Go right the f*ck ahead. I ain’t stopping you. What? You think I care cause you bumping coochies and slapping dicks. Go right ahead. It’s better that way. At least your husband/wife don’t have to figure out if you on the DL.

Education – Effective immediately. Raise for all public school teachers. Since you have to deal with these bad ass kids for hours and hours. Effective Immediately. Performance reviews determine your raise. If your class isn’t reading or doing math on their grade level or above, I’m deducting pay. F*ckas. I know what you thinking. But what if I get stuck with kids that don’t want to learn? We’ll rotate your ass. That’s how we’ll determine if it’s you or if it’s them. And none of this coming into a school telling US what YOU teach. NO. You’ll teach what we say. Rotation program. You teach a different subject until we find your niche. And yeah, no such thing as private institutions. You big business f*ckas. You wanna be private, and charge outrageous amounts for your school dividing the community. F*ck You. Get taxed like a big business. You Wal-Mart f*ckas. By the way, all y’all bastards are wearing uniforms.

Stem Cell Research – AIDS. Cancer. HPV. Sickle Cell. Whatever. We need to find some damn cures for the sh*t that’s wiping out society. We ’bout to be dinosaurs. Blackasaurus Rex. All extinct and shit. So once we pull the troops out of Iraq, we can attack poverty AND find some damn cures. I know we have some smart asses in this country. Need to put our money to good use.

Traffic Congestion – Highways ain’t the problem. It’s the damn growth rate of houses. Big business fuggas sticks house in the first free space you see when you identify a “prosperous” community and driving prices up. Now we have people buying houses for hundreds of thousands of dollars that they can’t REALLY afford AND they’re on top of each other. Walking out on their deck only to see their neighbor fucking his wife. Too damn close like we a bunch of Ricans in a Corolla. Oh wait, I gotta be politically correct. Like we some damn roaches. Well no more of that sh*t. Big business f*ckas. I’ve controlling who, what and where sh*t gets built. I’m the government remember?!?!?!?

Deficit – Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. How else do you think we can remove a deficit? We gotta budget bastards. Let me look at the federal budget. I’ll cut shit left and right. Space Program. Cut. Muddafuggas don’t even have “space” in their apartment, money to get to work and feed their kids and you want send asses to space so that they can watch their shit float. Hell no. All those Pandas and Bears and Zoo animals we lease from other countries paying a million dollars for. F*ck Them too. Stay they ass in the country. We got people who have unwanted pets called roaches and rats.

Do the right thing. Vote or die b*tches!

*This message is paid for by the supporters of the one known as Always.Funky.Fresh


~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 7, 2006.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: