Airline bullshuckas……….

My last 3 business trips were easy travels….easy because I didn’t have to get on a plane. It was either drive or Amtrak. The latest trip required me to fly. A’ight no big deal. Destination: Detroit.

So I head to the airport early Thursday morning with my carry-on, check in and get ready to go through security – which is always an adventure. You have to take the laptop out the bag, you gotta take your shoes off, and NOW, you have to Ziploc any carry-on toiletry type items. They have to be in a QUART-SIZED clear Ziploc AND they have to be in 90mL or less.

First off, I completely forgot about this damn rule so you can imagine the look on my face when I hear BAG CHECK yelled from security. I hate bag checks. I feel like they’re invading my privacy in front of everyone. What if it wasn’t a business trip? What if I was flying somewhere to meet someone to get my freaky on for the weekend and my bag was filled with handcuffs, porn and other goodies? Okay, okay, I know, they’re “protecting” us. Anyway, dude goes through my bag and says….

“Excuse sir, do you have Ziploc?”

Me: Wha?

Do you have your items in Ziploc?

Me: Nah.

Well, either you have to check your bag OR you have to place all liquids or gels in clear quart-sized Ziploc in containers 90mL or less.

Me: Wha?

I checked my bag. And seriously, all I could think of was “George F*cking Bush”

I don’t get where they came up with this sh*t. Clear Ziploc? People are innovative. Don’t they know that someone will ALWAYS come up with a way around these damn rules. Clear Ziploc? I have better things to do with my Ziploc than put my deodorant in it. 90mL or less. This one REALLY blows me. I have no concept of size in f*cking mL. Milliliters. Milli-f*cking-LITERS. The last time I thought about mL was in chemistry lab in college. I haven’t thought in those terms since. mL?!?!?!?!?!

Can anyone tell me the difference between a 30mL bottle and a 90 mL bottle? Huh? Can you? Probably not…..

The only thing you can tell me is that the 30mL bottle is SMALLER…..

In between meetings, I go to Walgreen’s and buy some Ziploc bags only to get to my hotel room and find out that NONE OF MY ITEMS are 90mL. They are all MORE. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

You know what’s 90mL or less?!?! The stuff they GIVE YOU in the hotel room. The little samples of shampoo, lotion, etc. So of course my mind starts racing and I think…hmmmm….time to get on my jack move 🙂 If hotels were smart, they would jack up the prices a bit during these times and give people good quality sample stuff.(But that’s just my opinion)….

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on November 5, 2006.

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