Can I have some of your balls?

Today was long. Too long.

Background: I work in Sales. Well, actually I support sales (read: No big commission checks) but I help them make sure they can buy that boat to go with the 4 cars and 3 motorcycles they own. Anyway, I’m in what they call pre-sales and as part of my job, we have to attend marketing events and trade shows.

Today was one of those days.

Trade shows can range from small technology-specific focus gatherings to all out convention center bashes. Today’s was the former. These smaller gatherings are basically geek fests so it kind of forces me to make sure I’m on my “A” game of technical knowledge.

That’s problem #1.

My brain has a limit. I can only have but so many technical conversations in a day. Once that queue is filled, my brain tunes out. I start thinking about things that have nothing to do with what the other person is talking about. And I ask myself questions like “Does this mf really think I care?” Do you remember that Chappelle show episode when he was in the restaurant sitting there saying “Hmmm..I wonder what Arsenio is doing” That’s me.

Problem #2. I have to stand up/man a booth all damn day wearing the same shirt as people who I would NEVER and usually don’t talk to in the office. This leads to conversation about you. First come the career questions. “So…how long have you been with the company?” or “Where did you work last?” Then come the personal questions “Where do you live?” “Where you from?” “Married? Got kids?”…I’m cordial…at first. I play the game for the first 2 people that ask. After that, once again, brain overload. See what I do at the end of problem #1

Problem #3. Not to sound like a bee-yatch but standing up all damn day makes my feet hurt.

Problem #4. This exists at EVERY trade show, whether big or small. Since it’s a marketing event, you have marketing material (i.e. giveaways). Giveaways come in different forms, shapes and sizes. Some give pens. Others give frisbees. We give balls. When you bounce the balls, they light up. People got NUTS (no pun intended) over these damn balls. So what they do is, they come up to the booth and ACT, PRETEND, that they’re interested and I know these people like the back of my hand because it starts off with the same question…”So, what does your company do?” So I go into a little song and dance and explain. We have software, blah blah blah. Sometimes I make up sh*t. It doesn’t matter. They shake their head like they’re really interested but it always….always ends with the same question…

Can I have some of your balls?

(Sorry to all the demented perverts who expected an erotic story. That’s another blog !)

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~ by alwaysfunkyfresh on October 16, 2006.

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